The Poshlust Carpetbagger

Hello the internet

2010-07-01T18:18:00.003-04:00

What's been going on so far? Let's see, I'm moving to East Bushwick. Ugh, whole long uninteresting story behind that. At the very least I'm still on the L-line which shouldn't make work commute too headache inducing. However, at this point I'm lived in way too man boroughs for my own comfort. I swear, when I hit the lotto, the first thing I'm doing is buying a tiny studio/one-bedroom so I never have to worry about moving again.

Quick rundown of life so far in actual chronological order/stream of consciousness: Kicking ass in language classes (I'd be kicking more ass if I took time to study), visit from the brother to this fine city, attended a wedding (not my own, don't freak out), student loans all paid off and I'm free from the yoke of paying this shit off every month (which means maybe I can finally seriously explore the possibility of going back to school?), found myself trying to explain to people how to apply make up during an Yma Sumac retrospective, ate rainbow pancakes in an apartment in Chelsea and got to the Pride March in time to see Lt. Dan Choi, moving to Bushwick (oh, God. The hipsters...THE HIPSTERS), and thinking about styling my next course in life to reflect Russell Crowe's body of work.

Confused? Me too! But don't worry, I'm hoping this will all make sense sooner or later.

OMG GLEE IS BACK

2010-04-13T22:27:00.002-04:00

I've been waiting WAY too freakin' long for this.

I'm still in the "let's wait to see where this goes" mode for Glee since I'm still on the fence about how the show has presented itself as a show about diversity and the underdogs, yet we see covers like this. I'm still trying to give it another chance and all that. So it was kind of interesting how the first ep handled the idea of dealing with reality after great expectations, whether with the glee club kids seeing how life hasn't really changed since they won sectionals and both Schuster/Emma and Finn/Rachel dealing with the realities of being in a relationship after the implosion of their relationships. Sort of how my whole let down with some of the realities of the show after the first excitement. Seriously, we need to get a Mercedes storyline (And not one where she's basically just "Mmm-HM honey chile"-in' her way through it. Oh God, I'm already in a cold sweat imagining that.) soon or else I'm gonna have to throw down.

Either way it's only the first episode, also it was all worth it to see Kurt and Sue Motherfuckin' Sylvester vogue. I practically died.

Late check-in

2010-04-12T19:18:00.003-04:00

So a little while back I said I'd check in around March about all the crap I said I'd do more of, or at least get started doing.

Languages classes have been going good, actually. So much fun. I think if I had my druthers I'd just take language classes the rest of my life. I've already signed up and started my 104 classes, and I think if I just applied myself a bit more, I can see some good results by the end of the year.

Beyond that, while I've found places for belly dancing, I haven't been able to sign up for a class yet. Mainly because these things aren't scheduled that well for someone with a shiteous work schedule as mine. While I was assured I'd be allowed to leave early enough for my Japanese classes if I wanted to take a weekday class, I knew from experience that it was just tempting fate, and I wasn't going to risk missing out on a single class that I was paying on with my own money based on a what if. Dance classes would be more flexible though, since it's more like a punch card system. However, my worry would be going through a week or two of not being able to attend class which would suck. Either way, after we push through a really grueling next month and a half, hopefully the dust will settle enough for me to figure this out.

Drawing...ha, yes not happening. Again, a terrible work schedule getting me home around 8-ish on average (if I'm not leaving the office at 8) has made it a bit difficult. I'm hoping though, that with the warmer weather, it might be easier to check out some meetup groups based around drawing. Or at the very least the weather will be pleasant enough for me to walk to the Art Student's League without much trouble.

Besides that...I don't know. I think I'm about to set into motion my "Escape from New York" plan. It's about time I left town. Or more specifically, the country.

New haircut

2010-03-20T23:49:00.001-04:00

...my slow transformation towards becoming like Gary Oldman in the Fifth Element is almost complete.

"If fashion is your trade, then when you're naked...I guess you must be unemployed..."

2010-03-19T01:42:00.002-04:00

I keep saying I'll try to go to bed earlier, but I guess that's not happening tonight. March 18 sign off music. Good night, internet.

The brother's comin' to toooowwwn

2010-03-17T22:42:00.002-04:00

A little over a week until the little bro comes to visit...man, I'm mad excited for this. I'm so excited I just blew cash on a Fujifilm Instax 25. I really shouldn't have and now I'll have to figure out how I'm going to eat the next week or so since I can't use my credit card more than this (my own self-imposed monthly limit), but I couldn't help myself. It's so corny, but I just wanted to take a bunch of pictures of me and my bro when he's in town. Post...I don't know, high school I guess, I haven't had a lot of chances to be in pictures with him and I want like five million pictures of my brother and I when we're young and I don't know, I just feel like it'd be awesome to have a shoebox full of pictures of us, haha.

So i've been thinking about this for a while, tell me if I'm crazy

2010-02-03T01:44:00.004-05:00

So for the longest time, I've wanted to do regular theme days. And by theme I mean pick a fashion theme and dress like that for a day and just hang out with people. Go to the movies, grab lunch/dinner, visit galleries or museums, what have you. Just operate a whole day dressed for the fashion theme.

"So why don't you just do that yourself?" you may ask. I mean I could, and why not, but I feel like it'd be more fun to do it with other people. I mean can you imagine walking down the street with a roving band of people looking like they straight up walked out of a Visage or Human League music video on 80s day?

Like I'd even get real specific too. Like just because I said 80s day don't mean you just show up in whatever ironic shit you pulled out of your closet. Like it can't be one dude in a Members Only jacket and pegged jeans or a girl in stirrup pants and a chick "Flashdance" sweatshirt. Whether New Wave or New Romantic, you can't be raggedy. And by raggedy I don't mean it can't be torn or tattered, I mean in the sense that it should not be half-assed and on point to a certain degree.

The idea isn't to pressure someone to spend ridiculous amounts of money or looking for perfect recreation. The idea is sort of an almost dandy-ish celebration of being able to simply be well put together. Thought out interpretations and creative license done well are all welcome and should be celebrated.

It'd be reminiscent of the Weekly Jams I used to participate in when I contributed regularly to this drawing forum. Everyone can suggest ideas, draw it out of a hat or take turns, I don't know, and no pressure to participate either. Just let everyone know if you're showing up and stick to it so that you don't have just one person showing up. And if you can't get at least three people to gather, maybe rollover the idea to the next month.

I don't know how far I'd go with this. I'd love to see if it'd be possible to get away with the theme of "Incroyables and Merveilleuses." Nonetheless, the idea isn't costume pageantry, it's fashion, style and flair. Like I'm not trying to start up a cosplay group or something like that. I'm not going to tell people, "OK, dudes. This month we're gonna all dress up as a character from Mad Men," but I might say, "All right. 50s-60s guys." It's not about being someone else, but ourselves, just in different social settings based on time, subgroups, scenes, what have you.

Ugh, this would be SO awesome if it could be done. I'm even willing to try it under a time limit, to see if it can be done. Maybe do it for 1-3 months and more like once or twice a months and see how far it can go.

Smart kids on TV

2010-01-30T19:12:00.002-05:00

I'm watching an episode of Star King right now (it's like, I don't know, Korean Star Search type thing, but in more of a variety show format?).

Anyhow, they gathered a group of little kids from Korea, China and Japan who are like abacus champs or some other, and have them calculating like calculators on the show. Besides being ridiculously skilled at the abacus they can calculate fast without the abacus (having a string of numbers flashed at them and calculate the totals, and such) and are also champs in those number memorization contest type things they hold.

I'm not denying these are some smart as kids, and watching the Korean rep kid blink and nod his head like an android and the Chinese girl mime at an invisible abacus as the numbers flash by the second as they calculate sums up in the four digits is kind of creepy yes, but I gotta feel sorry for the kids. I mean, I'm not denying that they might actually want to do this and be the best at what they do, but at the same time it's got that "make this kid be a parlor trick" feel to it.

Reminds me of what I read about smart kids being susceptible to that whole imposter complex. Can you imagine these kids being prepped to churn out numbers like this all the time? And being known as "that" kid? Like I can imagine bullies being all, "well what's 5,345,555 plus 223,445,234? *punches kid in the stomach* Too slow!"

They go on the tournament circuit, do well for themselves, but then what kind of person do they grow up to be or how do they feel about only being known as that kid good with numbers? Eh, I mean they probably grow up and become like Nobel Prize winning mathematicians or something, but maybe not all of them. I can imagine some of them realizing they can memorize the hell out of a string of numbers and adding it together but realizing they have no idea how to socialize (or maybe they wanted to and never had the chance to). And what about if they're just not good at math in that way? The prodigy/genius treatment has got to suck when you realize you don't live up to somebody else's expectation of what that exactly means, or on the other hand having to deal with others expectations when you have your own.

Or, who the hell cares I suppose. I don't know. I just felt bad watching the Japanese kid who had a look like Ivan Drago on his face the whole time.

On the other hand who cares I suppose

I want an Xbox

2010-01-20T22:18:00.002-05:00

This is getting ridiculous. I reeeeeeeeally want to play Left 4 Dead and now there's 2 out. I also want to game with my friends...

I got a talking to about how I shouldn't spend money so randomly, but come on, a girl's got needs. I'm thinking once I figure out this moving situation, I'm going to not get cable, just internet, and instead use Netflix on the Wii (or the Xbox if I do end up getting that).

The problem with me and game systems is I mainly have just a handful of games I really want to play, and the rest I could take it or leave it. Same thing with cable actually. I'd be sad if I didn't have my BBC A or the one random Korean channel anymore, but the rest? Meh.

I'm currently annoyed about not having the Xbox because I really want to play Bayonetta. However, regardless of whether I get an Xbox or not, I'm totally going to be Bayonetta for Halloween. Yep, I'm getting ready for this starting NOW. I'm even looking up how much catsuits cost and everything. I mean, it's not a set thing, but that's why I'm checking now, to see if I'm in the budget for an elaborate costume of that sort.

Ugh, this is so sad.

Bored

2010-01-14T01:14:00.003-05:00

What to do, what to do...I'm getting restless. I could go for a weekend trip. This year will be the first year I haven't traveled out of the country. I mean, it's cold and crap, but I'm seriously looking forward to the long President's Day weekend. And instead of just rolling around the house, I feel like I should go do something. I'm thinking, in view of it being all "president"-y I should visit Philly or D.C. again. Hmmmmmm......anyhow, it's merely a thought that this moment. Depends on funds and other such things. Maybe California? Nah, too much money for a plane, though I'm totally not taking the bus down to D.C. again. I'm totally doing the train. My butt fell asleep and took about an hour to wake up when I took the bus.

Resolution checkpoint

2010-01-07T01:48:00.003-05:00

I'm supposed to go to Odessa tonight with friends for pierogies, so there goes my diet for today.

Besides that, I signed up for classes! I actually had my first class yesterday. I went in to do an evaluation interview the week before since the description for the 101 class was a little vague. I mean, I'm not trying to brag, but I just mean I'd studied Japanese before, and while I am no where near fluent, at the same time I already know hiragana and katakana from back in the day, and I really didn't need to pay 200 bucks to relearn how to say "Hi, I am _______. Nice to meet you."/"Good morning/good afternoon/good night" and so on and so forth.

So after a real awkward interview, I was informed I didn't need to take a 101 class, but if I didn't want to wait until February to start with the 103, I could join in now in the middle of a 102 class and transition into the 103. I thought this sounded like a good idea, since just jumping leaps and bounds to 103 sounded a bit iffy when I'd been so out of practice for so long. Doing the last couple of 102 classes as warm up seemed smart. I just don't know how I'm going to survive 10 am classes on a Saturday morning...

New Year's....resolutions?

2010-01-02T12:41:00.002-05:00

I don't really do resolutions, mainly because I don't know if I believe in the whole "Oh, I'm going to lose weight/quit smoking/become more organized" style of trying to make some change. You always end up breaking it because if this was something you were really set on doing, you would've set yourself to do it regardless of it being a new year or not.

However, nonetheless there are things I would like to do that I am going to get done or at least started on in the coming three months, because I can't do this year shit. That's just giving me 12 months to push crap further down. If I'm not getting started on it, now, I'm never going to. I don't know what else is behind the urgency. I guess because I feel like I say I want to do a lot, but don't actually do much about it. Though maybe that's the human condition? It also could be that watching Harold and Maude over the holidays has affected me way more profoundly than I'd like to admit.

1. Learn a new language. I always said that by the time I die it'd be nice to speak at least 5 languages. Well, I'm looking towards 30 looming on the horizon in the next couple of years, and I still only speak two languages fluently. SO, in the next three months I will be looking at and signing up for language classes.

2. Take belly dancing classes. "What?" Yea, I know, but seriously, I've been talking about doing this for years. I mean, honestly, just why not?

3. Draw. This isn't a skill that increases just by sitting on your hands. You have to keep doing it. I mean, I know I say crap about art school and all that, and that'd be awesome, sure, but I've still got a couple of years left paying off the student loans I have now, and I honestl don't know if I can sink myself any more in debt unless something drastic happens, so that's more on the back burner now as a what if.

So, let's check back in around March and see how these things are going along.

No, I don't do Times Square on New Year's Eve

2009-12-31T12:04:00.002-05:00

After spending some "restful" days with the family over Christmas, I got back in town yesterday. I wasn't really sure what I was going to do for New Year's Eve. I figured I'd either be at home or just jumping on to any random party invites I'd get once I was back in town. However, the roommate asked me if I was cool inviting people over so we decided we'd stick around the house and see if anybody wanted to show up.

It was a little last minute, so I kind of doubt if anyone would show up so late in the game and on top of that, it's snowing like hell, so I'm kind of glad I didn't decide to venture out anywhere.

Anyhow, need to hop over to the store. I decided I'd whip up some Devils on Horseback and Spinach Dip, maybe a pork and manchego thing Bittman wrote up about and see what else the stores have to offer if they're still open. I hope we can watch the Graham Norton New YEar's special tonight and DOCTOR WHO MARATHON TOMORROW!!

I third degree burned myself on Thanksgiving

2009-11-30T21:41:00.002-05:00

No, I wasn't trying to deep fry a turkey...

I was cooking sugar for a caramel sauce and in a string of events that I'm still not quite certain of the cause and order of besides me just being a klutz in general, the pot dropped, I got some droplets splashed onto me, and now I got burns. Nothing too large or bad enough to make me go to the ER (unless they suddely turn gangrenous, I guess), but yea, there's a little spot on my right cheek and slightly bigger patch and a sprinkle of burn dots on my right hand that are now totally itching and driving me nuts because they are healing. My right hand kind of looks like wound man for burns at the moment. There's white blisters, then one spot that looks like cooked steak...

I'm not even upset with the possible (ok, certain) scarring or about being hurt. I'm mostly just annoyed with how clumsy I can be. I was handling the pan thinking, "Be careful...be careful..." Yet, wham! I drop the pot. Unbelievable. Thank goodness I had the wherewithal to jump back and turn away in quite the "My face! My beautiful face!" moment. Anyhow, yet another addition to the cacophony of scars I seem to be accumulating upon my person.

'Macho Man' Randy Savage

2009-11-20T14:01:00.002-05:00

Pro wrestling to me is still frozen in late 80s-mid 90s. I can name and recognize some wrestlers of today, but I definitely don't watch and keep track of the storylines like I used to. Growing up in Korea during that time, pro wrestling was BIG with my age group. I remember when we'd play WWF on an abandoned mattress somebody threw out. WWF to me is still Hulk Hogan, Ultimate Warrior, Yokozuna, Bret Hart, The Undertaker (back in the day), Ric Flair, Rowdy Roddy Piper, hell, the Bushwhackers, and so on and so forth.

And, of course... "Macho Man" Randy Savage.

Because of this standstill in time in regards to wrestling, I find myself inordinately in love with any impersonation of "Macho Man" Randy Savage. I giggle and clap my hands as if I was a baby and you just jiggled some keys in front of me. You have to understand, this is someone who'll still wind up their arm and pull Hulk Hogan's "I can't hear you" hand to the ear move when occasion calls for it. "Wait, what occasion calls for it?" I hear you asking. Pretty much any goddamn time I feel like it is the answer.

It's also one of those impressions I have a hard time pulling off because of the fact that I have ovaries and no Adam's Apple, so if anybody does an even passable impression, I am all over that. Like if someone can do a good Tom Carvel impression. Yea, I almost peed myself when a friend of mine did his and I probably bugged him for a repeat performance almost every five minutes.

So I honestly am annoyed with all of these "let's just play videos that people can find on Youtube, except this was like from 2 years ago" type of shows that keep popping up. Especially when they have cutesie names like "Tosh.0"...yea, well one night I was flipping through the channels and managed to come across this:

Tosh.0

Thursdays at 10pm / 9c

"Macho Man" Randy Savage

www.comedycentral.com

Web Redemption

2 Girls, 1 Cup Reaction

Demi Moore Picture

I still hate this show, but I give it a pass because besides this video, they put out a challenge for others to make their own videos, which spawned this winner:

...you win this time lame TV show...

It's Tuesday. The "T" stands for...er..."(t)Verklempt"

2009-11-17T20:07:00.002-05:00

The "(t)" is silent.

So, recommended reading: A Memory of Wind by Rachel Swirsky (via Tor)

Oh, man, it's been a while since I've read a story that got to me like this one did. I actually crammed this read in at the end of the work day today while I was waiting for some emails and such and by the time I was done and had to leave I was still wrapped up in the mood and emotions of the world created by this story and I literally walked to the train station in a fog that I couldn't shake until I got home. And I'm not saying that just as a former middle school mythology nerd. It's just amazing and should be read whether or not you're familiar with the story of Iphigenia. Ugh, like it hit me in the gut so hard I almost had to barf. No, seriously. You ever had that feeling? You feel so much and so many things at once you actually feel nauseous?

I also finally managed to watch the "Wheels" ep of Glee that was on DVR. Yes, I fully admit that I'm a gleek. Kurt is my FAVORITE character and the scenes with him and his dad had me crying by the end of the episode. And I don't mean I felt like crying. I wasn't exactly openly bawling either, but I was all choked up and wiping tears that were welling up in my eyes. OH MY GOD, and when he was singing "Defying Gravity" during the diva off? I was sniffling like a little girl. (I'm embedding the Rachel/Kurt version, but I'm not going to lie, I looked up Kurt's solo as soon as the episode ended)

I'm rooting for you Kurt! You might've thrown the diva off for your dad, but you go on and get your own solo! It's sad how hard I'm rooting for Kurt's character because I love his character so freakin' much. Kurt's really the only character I've been rooting for since the first episode. I say I'm a gleek, but if you ask me, the show honestly started to become a bit disappointing the last couple of episode. The "this one's for all the losers and nerds" platform they'd been running on since the preview first episode totally had me waiting for this show. Instead, the constant ridiculous focus on Rachel and Finn and Quinn...and of course Mr. Schuester and so on and so forth was getting to be annoying since this "diverse" cast they'd pulled together were once again relegated to the freaks and geeks and minorities background players that you see way too often. Of course, that could always change. I understand with such a huge ensemble cast, it'll take a while to build all the story arcs. So that's why this "Wheels" episode was promising since I felt like we were finally getting there with more stories about everyone else for change. Oh, God...the last part? With Sue? And her sister?? Again, almost at the threshold of bawlin' my eyes out.

And while Kurt is my favorite character, and yes, he's just precious and sweet and I want to go shopping with him (he name dropped Alexander McQueen. Fuck, yea, and y'all know how much I loooove Alexander McQueen), it's time for your weekly CUTE BOY DETOUR!!

Since we're talking about an episode about Artie, I just wanted to get it out there: The droolage over Cory Monteith is overrated. Screw you guys, because Kevin McHale is where it's at...even if he was (is?) in some boy band. Don't judge me, as Kanye's rap in Kid Cudi's "Make Her Say" goes: "Hold up (Yea)/Born In 88(Word)/How Old Is That (Damn)/Old enough." Am I right, ladies, or am I right? Come on, I know there are other Team Artie folks out there. I read the internet. Just how cute is he?? Especially how his voice can get a little Kermit-y at times. Time for a Beatles scream: Aaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhh!!! Why, yes, I'm 26. Why do you ask?

I hope Artie and Tina make it through Fake Stutter-gate to be together =(

[/end CUTE BOY DETOUR!!]

Back to seriousness, and stuff that makes me cry. I saw "Precious" this weekend. It was slightly underwhelming actually. Well, maybe underwhelmed isn't really the word here. I definitely was steeling myself for some hard stuff, so maybe I'd been ready enough. But the film makers also tried to keep some of the severe abuse off screen, which I think was an interesting choice since I'm sure they were plenty aware of how exploitative it could be to just hit people with too much raw stuff like that. Not that there weren't any moments where you'd suck the air in between your gritted teeth or feel like you had to turn away. I have to say though, that I didn't feel like crying until Mo'Nique's scene at the end sitting in the social worker's office.

I don't know if anybody reading this now remembers, but a while ago back when they were filming "Precious" I ran into the film crew because they were filming in my apartment building. I think I mentioned this before, but back when I lived in the heights (two different buildings), people would ask about where I lived and I'd be all, "ever watch any of those movies of New York in the 80s or something? And it'd feature some dingy walk up apartment? That's my place." I guess whoever was the location scout also felt the same way. It was INTENSELY weird seeing my previous apartment building. The stairs to the lobby, the surrounding streets, even the freakin' train station. THAT'S MY 1 TRAIN DYCKMAN STATION.

That was the other thing. I was talkin' with my friend Alexis afterwards, but it's like, these location scouts were obviously looking for very New York places, yet they set a movie somewhere in the 160s in Harlem, but blatantly show the Dyckman 1 stop sign. Come oooon, that's just sloppy as hell. It actually reminded me how in Cloverfield, the character managed to run underground along the subway tracks from some place like Christopher Street all the way to Columbus Circle in less than 10 minutes. Come oooooon.

"I feel like one of those douches who own a Segway..."

2009-11-08T20:51:00.002-05:00

You know, it's a little sad when your weekend highlight involves hightailing it to Costco and snagging one of the two final remaining WiiFit Plus you had your eye on for a while. But come on, at $85.99, of course you went half crazy over buying it.

I have to admit though, I felt a little silly on it when I did the "running"...yea...that was weird. Anyhow, I'm having fun with the hula hoop game. On top of that, my usual "MUST. MASTER THIS." instincts kicked in when I couldn't do the skiing balance game, so it looks good so far.

Well, that wasn't the only highlight. I was pleasantly surprised to find a couple of skaters trying out some tricks right by the house, so I had a bit of eye candy while waiting for the bus. I wasn't too keen on the fact that I'm probably in the background of most of the video they were filming though.

My own F My Life post as well as some awesomeness

2009-10-31T14:51:00.003-04:00

After years of wearing makeup and always being annoyed that I can't find just the right tone to match my skin, I find out while putting on my Halloween makeup that the prosthetic wax I'm using to hide my eyebrows is an exact match. F my life.

Speaking of F My Life, I need to buy that Wii Plus at Costco before they sell out and get my own version of Kanye's New Workout Plan (a wiifit ain't "$free.99", but what you gonna do) in the works. Seriously, I'm getting older and this metabolism wasn't much of a friend to me in my life anyway. I don't want to look like a fat scene girl anymore. Hahahha, I'm joking...I'm just fat.

Speaking of fat scene girls...

Last night I got to see The Get Up Kids. Fact: I have never seen them live before. It coincided with hey, I wasn't really in the States when I had first heard of and started listening to them. And even in college, it took me a while to figure out just what kind of music it was that I liked. I didn't know about this "emo" business until college. And hold on, before you start shouting and screaming, I specifically mean what was considered emo back then, not whatever the hell it's become now. To be honest, even concerts were a bit of a mystery to me. I loved listening to music, but it's not like I went to any concerts while in Korea.

Not that they didn't have any there, but all the bands and music I was beginning to like around the concert going age of middle-high school weren't even touring Korea, so it was tough to be all that enthusiastic about live music. I also didn't get stuff like small, local shows. Like now I could easily tell you about going to shows at Schuba's or the Mercury Lounge, etc. Even mid-sized venues like a Bowery Ballroom or Aragon Ballroom were a total surprise to me when I started going to shows in the States because any foreign band big enough to be touring Korea usually were the types of bands to play stadium-type shows. Like the Scorpions or something. That or festivals. Anything "alternative" meant dreaming of maybe going to Japan to go to the Fuji Rock Festival, but just a dream even though Japan was right next door.

I went to shows as often as possible, but it took me a while to figure out how to keep track of concert listings and in college, I tried to go as many shows as possible, but I was still trying to save cash. I do remember during an internship in New York one time, I was pouring through the free weeklies every week to see what shows were playing and got to see the New Amsterdams.

Anyhow, I was so happy I could check "see The Get Up Kids live" off of my list of things to do before I do. It was a long time coming. I'm pretty damn happy actually. It was the first show I'd been to in a while as well as being a sort of milestone. As I jumped and hollered along to lyrics I felt 19 again, ha.

What am I thinking about lately?

2009-10-10T15:51:00.002-04:00

Farming! Yes, farming. I don't know. It's an idle thought and desire I've had since I was little quite honestly. I used to read a lot of books about settler life or just living back when there wasn't a lot of industrialization and would imagine how I'd like to farm. Not huge, mind you, something small scale and sustainable. Like my own eggs/chicken, a little vegetable garden, maybe a milk cow and a pig or two? While most people probably enjoyed "Charlotte's Web" for its heartfelt tale about the love and friendship between a spider and a pig, and a pig and a girl, I kind of devoured the details of farm life. I still remember the detailed descriptions of Wilbur's slop, including the small bit about how there was some cheese still stuck to a wrapper being part of his meal.

I don't know. I still think about it and lately it's looming more and more over my head. One of my favorite shows to watch on the one Korean channel I get on cable happens to be "Diary of Returning to the Farm." I guess in Korea nowadays there's a lot of people giving up life in the city and retiring to farms. Besides that show, there's a lot of bits of stories I see about that type of retirement as well as little news stories about towns that offer people money if they want to move there and start farming. It kind of makes me wish I was back home so that it would be an option.

Besides that, there's another show called "Country Table," which I absolutely love because it combines the whole country small-scale farming lifestyle with cooking! Korean cooking! Basically, the hosts visit different old folks living out in the country and cook a meal with them, which not only means cooking with ingredients they usually farm and grow themselves, but you also get plenty of recipes, tips and hints for a lot of "how mom used to make it" type of regional and simple Korean foods. In fact, I really want to make the the chilled chrysanthemum leaf soup (mmmmmmm...I can already imagine how that would smell and taste in my mouth) from one episode.

I was watching an episode today and they went out to the field to pick some peppers, a head of cabbage as well as a watermelon or two to make a meal. I wish I could do that...In fact, I do wish I could leave in a old-fashioned Korean house with the kitchen with the huge cooking fire to make rice in a kamasot pot and have an area out front or back for all my huge clay jars of homemade soy sauce, dwaenjang and gochujang. That'd be so awesome.

Random story time: So when my mom was younger one day there was a huge SPLASH!!! then some smaller splishing and splashing noises out in the front yard, and her and my grandmother went to go check on what it was. A rat had fallen into a huge jar of soy sauce and was trying to swim out. It drowned though, and they had to pour out a whole jar and make soy sauce all over again. For those of you who don't understand why the splash was so big and a rat could drown in it, it's because we're talking about a set up like this. Some of these pots come up to your waist and are big and deep. And you'd have a couple out front where you make your own condiments like soy sauce, and you even store kimchi in (bury the kimchi one in the ground in the winter).

But yea, I guess there's like programs where you can go around the States and work on farms. Or even go abroad and farm. Obviously, not to rake in the money, and it is hard work...but so tempting. I've always liked working with my hands. Building stuff, doing stuff. I don't know, maybe it's time to take a break from cranial labor and move on to do some manual stuff while I'm still young.

Oh, man. So I've been listening to way too much bachata the past couple of days. It's all MTV's fault too. I was flipping through channels, and they were playing Aventura for Hispanic Heritage Month. And I was all "AAAAHHHH, omg! That sounds like the old neighborhood!!!" So I've been on an Aventura kick.

Like this song, which I heard like every other day in stores, walking past open windows, from cars in all its covers and incarnations:

The song on MTV that started this whole thing:

The case of the returning cold

2009-10-08T01:31:00.002-04:00

I had a cold last week. Stayed home two days in a row. Felt a lot better, in fact, felt pretty fantastic this weekend up until Monday, until I started feeling crappy again yesterday. So guess what happened when I woke up today? It was pretty bad. I got worried I caught swine flu and even bought a little thermometer to measure my temp. Luckily, no fever. I also figured if it really was the flu I'd be feeling a whole lot worse than this.

I'm going to have to go in to work tomorrow. This can't continue.

It's getting cooler so now I've got some soups, stews and baking projects in mind. I still didn't get to make cinnamon rolls after the success of pecan sticky buns, however, I'm also going to make some baklava. And while on the topic of foods using phyllo dough, I might also make some spanikopita. And to fit with the winteriness, maybe a spice cake? I don't know. I'm thinking about baking folks cookies for Christmas again. I've missed out on doing that. I need to use up all the herbs and spices in my cupboard for something.

I wish this cold would go away though. I'm still a snotty, coughing, tired mess and I can't make or bake foods like this. I can't finish it all, so I end up sharing and I can't share food I've made while I was sick in good conscience.

One more favorite artist to add to my list

2009-09-26T02:35:00.003-04:00

So I'm flipping through my latest issue of Juxtapoz that caem in the mail, and omg...Rockin' Jelly Bean, just fuckin' amazing. This issue is also fully rocking my face off because they're also featuring one of my old-time faves, Takato Yamamoto...I'm not sure how wise it is to say Yamamoto's one of my faves considering the whole body horror tangent I went off in a previous entry, but whatever.

But, yea, I just wanted to share that. I know, so random. I really wish I would've been brave enough to follow the art path. A couple of months back I got to go to a free seminar/talk thing from one of my favorites, and it was just so cool. It was at SVA and as I watched the students file in (it was open to students and the public), it as like, "Damn, that could've been me in school."

The above is the story behind why I can't wear my white canvas Chucks to work anymore. You see, what had happened was, I'd rushed down there after work, and folks had actually brought in her artbook and stuff to get signed. I had no such thing, but I couldn't just bounce like that. I was all fired up and inspired and all that, you know? So I barely stammered out my "I...I'm a really big fan and it was an honor" to her before my brain went, "Your shoes...YOUR SHOES! And you even got a fatty permanent marker in your bag"

"Um, I don't have a book with me or anything because I, um, just came from work, would you mind signing my shoes??" I blurted out.

So now my shoes have "Just Fuk It" written on them, hahahahaha. I mean she signed it, and drew hearts saying "this is a reference to my earlier heart-shaped girls with their backs turned work," so it's all kinds of awesome, but I don't want to get called into HR because of this.

I had a friend weirded out that I still wear them at all and I don't get them bronzed or something. I don't know, it feels more proper. I asked her to sign my shoes, so I wear them because they're shoes. I don't know, keeping it real I suppose.

No roof party =(

2009-09-26T01:49:00.002-04:00

Probable bad weather has put a hold on that party. Though honestly, it's probably for the best. I've got folks to see at a brunch thing to go to on Sunday, so this back to back business might not have been the best idea.

I might just sleep in tomorrow, but I realized something today. It's been a while since I've done the "lie wrapped up in a blanket and watch Zatoichi" Saturday ritual. Back, waaaaay back, in my first apartment in the city (I like to call it the House of Mouse, and I only put up with it as long as I did because of the washer/dryer in the kitchen), I'd wake up on Saturdays just in time to catch Zatoichi on IFC. Considering how chilly it's going to be tomorrow, I'm contemplating doing just that. maybe make some hot chocolate. Zatoichi won't be on IFC, but I did buy a box set of them a little while back that I never got around to watching.

Unless I can think of something to do last minute. I don't know if that motivated to figure out a way to spend money. I really need to do some clothes shopping, but I'm trying to be good and wait for the next pay period. I did give in and bought myself a faux fur hat from H&M. It was only $12.95. It's basically a wannabe ushanka. I'll probably get a real one one of these days.

Lately I've been tempted to take out my Holga and roam the city, though I'd have to buy some more film, so there's that...

I've still got five days of vacation days left. The travel itch is coming back. I'd like to go back to London or Dublin, or places new like Amsterdam maybe? I don't see how I can make any of that happen though. I'd be happy just to go back up Toronto or maybe try out Montreal this time. If not, I guess I'll just swing down to Philly or D.C. again.

Pecan sticky buns, roof party and life casting

2009-09-24T02:07:00.002-04:00

So this weekend I made pecan sticky buns. They were ridiculously good. I'm immensely surprised at how well they turned out because I was convinced our oven was too quirky to bake bread products. For some reason I could never get my challah to taste right in that oven. It was either too yeasty or tasted undercooked. It smelled awesome though, just wouldn't taste right. Anyhow, the sticky buns came out soft and delicious and the whole apartment smelled like bread and cinnamon. I'm going to make some freakin' cinnamon rolls next.

I've been preoccupied with trying to buy half-gloves. I don't feel like laying down $50 for a pair from Patricia Field. I want something cheap that even if I spill alcohol on them and get a tear from dancing too hard or whatever, it's not going to be a problem to chuck 'em. Why? Because my friend Chris is having a rooftop party. This isn't too out of the ordinary because his roof parties happen pretty frequently BUT the invitation for this one sounds pretty ridiculous. There's promises of a dj and a live band. I don't know how that will all fit on this small roof, but this is a party that requires an outfit, so I've been trying to figure one out.

I really shouldn't be spending any money though. Not that I'm trying to buy a lot. I'm trying to track down these half gloves...maybe a over-the-top top (get it?) to go with my skirt (which I already own, along with violet tights and bright yellow high heels). I kind of want a statement headpiece too though. And I've already decided on added a layer of red glitter to red lipstick. OK, I admit, that bodysuit is definitely pushing the boundaries of "NO." I'm just saying, I'm going to dress the FUCK up. I can't believe I can't find half gloves at Ricky's. I might have to stop by Trash and Vaudeville. If not, maybe a costume store?

Speaking of costumes, I'm trying to set up a "life casting date" with my friend Tom. I'm trying to figure out what my costume will be for his Halloween party so I'm trying to see if I can feasibly make a mask using a mold of my face. The theme is Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse. My costume from last year would've been good for this theme, but I don't want to repeat it. I have two ideas for Death, but I might try to rework the idea from last year and make it completely new for Pestilence.

Anyhow, I put out the APB on Facebook that I might need help with casting a mold of my face and Tom came to the rescue. I just have to promise to help cast his face too. My friend Dianne voiced concern that this could go horribly wrong and I'm nervous, yes, because I saw that episode of Rescue 911 where the art student chick got plaster of Paris stuck to her face and crap =(...that's why I asked for help. Anyhow, I thought her concern was hilarious because this mutual face mold casting does sound like something out of a French body horror film.

...I'd totally be in that movie as long as Gaspard Ulliel is cast my opposite. It'll be a Frenchy, artsy, sexy thriller type horror dealing with identity issues and a mild BDSM undertone thanks to hardening plaster on body parts and allusions to breath play when things start happening with the straws during the face casting climax scene. It'll be like Repulsion with a little mix of creepy obsessive need for control over an object of lust from Boxing Helena and May (Oh, shit, I just remembered how much this movie creeped me out when I first saw it because May liked Adam's hands, and I like hands and I was all "Noooo, I'm not creepy like that, am I??" But that's another story for another time).

Shit, that's actually starting to sound like a pretty decent movie, and with Gaspard Ulliel, mmmm Gas.........whoa, yea, OK if it wasn't already weird before, now it just did.

Anyhow, this costume needs to happen, so I guess I'll have to start trolling some thrift stores and costume stores before the Halloween rush happesn.

It's the most wonderful time of the year

2009-09-16T22:26:00.002-04:00

I don't fancy myself much of a nature person. I'm not outdoorsy. I don't go camping. I don't hug trees, save the whales or shop only for local and organic goods. The closest I ever got to anything like that is whenever I have a pang of guilt throwing away those plastic rings that hold soda cans together. I'll remember reading in Highlights or seeing something on TV when I was a kid about how animals choke when they get all tangled up in those rings, so you should always cut the rings or some such. So I'll reach for the kitchen shears.

I say all this because, even though I'll probably never go all Thoreau and just up and "Walden" my ass out into a cabin in the woods, it doesn't mean I'm not sentimental about nature. I don't know, it sometimes surprises me how much something minor or subtle cue from the natural world will make me slack-jawed with awe. True awe in all sense of the word. Most people think "awesome" just means...well, awesome, but forget that besides denoting wonderment and amazement, awe also is a feeling of fear. A fearful respect of something that amazes you so that it transcends words or comprehension.

A couple of weeks back I was taking out the trash. I live in a particularly suburb-y and residential part of Astoria. On one side bordered by the ConEd power plant that hums quietly into the night, only making me notice its presence late at night when the humming stops, and lying in bed I realize the silence I had been hearing up until that point was not silence at all. On the other side, rows and rows of houses that spread out and with the neighbors I rarely see thanks to my schedule and its evenly packed streets still seem quieter and lonelier than the quiet self-satisfied humming of the power plant.

Usually I end up taking out the trash late at night, making it an experience in trying not losing my nerve and making sure I leave the door open behind me so that I may run in in case any bogeymen bursts from around the corner...now that I think about it, after the dumpster jump scare in "Mulholland Drive," taking out the trash was never the same for me (WARNING: Spoiler for those who haven't seen the film, though I have no idea how you could spoil this movie when you can't figure out what the fuck is going on the first time you watch it. And also warning, because seriously, dudes, it'll freak you out).

Anyhow, on such a night I again found myself stepping out alone into the quiet sidewalk, but something was different. It was dark, yet everything was illuminated. So bright, yet not. There was just a glow about everything. I looked up into the sky to see a full moon beaming down on all of us. But it wasn't just the moonlight. Thick tufts of clouds had broken in the sky, almost framing the moon. It acted like a gel on a stage light, amplifying and softening at the same time. And at the same time, the light of the moon highlighted all the depth and crests of the clouds, illuminating and shadowing to show perspective. How some clouds were closer and lower, layered in front of those further away.

I stood there just looking up at the sky for the longest time. I almost wanted to sit down on the steps leading to my door and just watch the moon all night. Part of me marveling at the sight, another part of my afraid that if I turned away the big round moon would swallow me up to its other side. It was beautiful and I was afraid because it made it jarringly clear I was alone not just against the great dark expanse up there, but also in the dark street corner down here. And I think ultimately, what scares me is what makes me sad. It's not movies filled with hacking of bodies and screams of nubile, but I guess a certain melancholy and despair about existence.

Like the moon that night, there are a few things about nature that can give me pause. One are still summer nights, because they always take me back to when I was younger and my summer break would finally overlap with the summer break of my friends who went to Korean school and we'd attempt to make the most of this eclipsing of our worlds. We'd sit outside and try to hold the night at bay with our endless talking. Or how quiet it'd be in the late night/early morning as either I'd start walking home or curl up to sleep on the couch to sleep at my friend's house after a group of us had gathered for another marathon weekend session of playing survival horror games. I may not like summer's heat or its sun, but every now and then the smell of one of its still nights will put me in that mood again.

And then fall. It's the twilight of the year. In Korea, they used to say that fall is the season of of loneliness, and I agree with that. Winter too is lonely, but it is too harsh and cold. It is hardened by bitterness so that the lonliness doesn't bit as hard. Spring is saccharine with its budding feelings of love, summer is hot and swept up in passion, but fall is fading. Demeter again sends her daughter away to languish in Hades with a god disliked and shunned by people and other divine ones alike.

Again, it's the smell of the air. Not just that it's colder, but how it's crisper. Anyhow, tonight has been one of those nights when I could smell that difference. It's been getting progressively cooler and I feel fall coming over me. With the window open I can smell it, and hear it in the rustling of tree leaves, and I am sad. At the same time this sadness comes with a bit of excitement, and with excitement your pulse quickens and that's one of the symptoms of fear and I've come full circle with it. I'm not particularly afraid of anything I suppose. If anything, I feel like there's so much that can happen, but I guess maybe that's what I'm afraid of. The smell of the open air and the sounds of the window signify something wide and open that I don't know, that I can't comprehend. And like that glowing, low-hanging moon I am reminded that I am in awe because I am amazed and I'm afraid.

******

Ah, I guess I'm in one of those moods again. Ha, what can I say, it's becoming fall, right?

I've been debating whether or not I should buy The Path already, and that game probably would just add to this weird seasonal feeling. I'm also a little afraid about the prospect of playing that on my own.

It might be a chicken or the egg type of thing, but I've been in the mood for Okkervil River quite a lot lately. Or maybe listening to Okkervil River is putting me in this mood. But as I walk around in the cold early morning air or walk home in the evening I catch myself humming "For Real" to myself quite a bit.

Time travel in 1m35sec

2009-09-12T01:56:00.002-04:00

Early in the morning as I walked one of the two usual routes I take to the subway, I saw in the distance a mass of black robes and black wiry beard. An Orthodox priest stalked his way up the block, one hand to the side of his head. I saw his lips moving and the entire tableaux looked as if he was hearing the voice of God himself instructing him to hurry and make his way to the home of a certain Mrs. Stratakos, who in 1999 had a dream in which Matthew the Evangelist told her that if she did not give up her monthly habit of going to Atlantic City for the casinos, in 10 years time he will come to collect an impious life and in the next ten minutes Mrs. Stratakos is about to open a boiling pot on her stove, only to have the chicken she was cooking in the pot lift itself by hooking its little wings on the rim of the pot and announce, "Yea, you have been judged and found in wanting" through its fatty neckhole, causing Mrs. Stratakos to collapse from a heart attack onto the hard cold floor in her little house in the middle of Astoria. Whether the talking chicken was an aneurysm caused by the blood blocked in the right ventricle, a message from God, or a trick of the Devil, no one knows, but the point was she was going to need help.

The priest threw me off a little, as the Orthodox priests I see now and then in the neighborhood tend to do, mainly because they look like they were out taking a walk one morning back in time and by taking a wrong turn found themselves in 2009 Queens. I nervously continued to watch him. From far away I could tell he was super tall and thin, his black robes whipping about the his body like banners on a pole. His thin, gaunt, serious face covered on the lower half with a rough beard that didn't really blow in the wind, more so than it stubbornly puffed about. Like the bristly beard was trying to resist the wind and only giving in when its strength left it.

"Oh, man," I thought. "Dude looks straight up something like you see in an ambrotype stuck between the leaves of a collection of Pushkin's poems tucked in the bottom of a trunk along with a tattered doll, some dried flowers, a lock of hair, a single glove, and a bigass stack of letters that some construction workers in Saint Petersburg dug up while trying to build a new apartment building. And a note with the ambrotype would say, 'To my dear Mashenka, may I see you again in the spring. With love, your brother Kolya.' And then you find out like the trunk belonged to a 15 year old girl who died in 1890 from tuberculosis and her brother became a priest, only to go mad and be sent off an asylum in Irkutsk, though he thought he was being sent to some kind of religious college and never knew his sister died and wrote her a letter every week promising to see her in spring he himself died at age 45 or some shit like that."

As I was contemplating all of these things, the priest was now just a couple of steps from me. His face still intense as his lips moved, his hand still caressing the side of his head. As he walked closer, I began to hear him say in a VERY Queens accent:

"...so yea, how much is the insurance on dat? Yea?..."

And everything I was imagining shattered away thanks to a cellphone conversation. Ah, well.

Anyhow, listening to this song reminded me of that brief moment of living in my head earlier this week for some reason. I don't know, I guess the Pixies singing about Eiffel is kind of anachronistic in some kind of way and made me think of that. Who knows how my brain works:

Oh, my aching bones

2009-09-08T23:00:00.002-04:00

I was out at the West Indian Day Carnival Parade in Brooklyn and my calves are still sore from it. It's kind of sad actually.

My friend and I got there in the afternoon, getting off at Franklin. The MTA wasn't even trying to bother stopping at Eastern Parkway. We walked down the sidewalk (or tried our best to), only to reach a total bottle neck as people were dancing.

"Huh, that must be the party float. I don't think we're moving this spot."

My friend looks to see what truck was so special and goes, "Oh, hey! It's Elephant Man!...and Shaggy!"

So we backtracked and danced along the sidewalk to that particular float and finally stopped only to see the truck turn off. After that we stuck in one spot and continued to watch the parade happen.

When it finally was over I realized I hadn't gotten anything to eat. In fact, I'd only had coffee earlier and now I was starving. Considering the cops were trying to get people to close up their food stands, we had to act quick and ended up getting a deal with fire sale $5 plates of jerk chicken (me) and chicken curry (my friend).

Afterwards I figured we'd get ice cream from the ice cream truck, but my friend went, "Coconut Bake!!" and we looked to see a little table set up on the front lawn of an apartment building. I was game to try this. I was planning to share my plate of coconut bake and salt fish with my friend considering we'd just eaten about 2 minutes ago, but the guy misheard and made another plate. We apologized saying we only wanted one and started walking away, but he told us we could have the extra plate. We hung out in the yard that was now just a block party at this point with the parade long gone, eating and chatting.

It was fun, the weather was amazing, unfortunately I was also super tired and drained today...I could go for some more coconut bake.

The weather is finally cool...so I just sat home and watched TV

2009-08-30T16:53:00.003-04:00

So it's finally fall and feel like I'm actually thinking clearly again. I feel like there are still a lot of things up in the air, but I've sort trying to remove myself from the weird malaise I've fallen into. Not to get all emo of course, but I'd been caught up in a lot of bullshit.

Anyhow, I was watching some reruns of "Being Human" this weekend, and I have to say, each time I watch episode three of season one, my crush on "died in 1985" Gilbert the 80s ghost grows in leaps and bounds. The weird thing is when they first started showing Being Human on BBC-A it didn't catch my fancy too much, mainly because "Primeval" was total suck to me and it also looked like it could go the direction of "Hex" (Christ) and I'd sort of resigned to expecting fantastical/Sci Fi shows on BBC-A that weren't like "Dr. Who" or "Life on Mars" to be full-on suck. However, one weekend I watched an episode and it just sucked me right into the next rerun and I couldn't leave my seat and had to watch the new episode that followed right after that.

Thankfully, the internet seems to agree with me that Gilbert is pretty awesome, so for once I don't feel so weird about a certain character I like and the rare times it does happen it's quite a relief. Oh, dear, don't get me started on Alexander Skarsgard in "True Blood." My friend and I turn into 13 year old girls as we scour Oh No They Didn't each time they have Askars gif party. Even funnier is they could start up a separate group for us entitled "Alexander Skarsgard really isn't the type of guy I usually like, but DA-YUM," because almost every other person seems to say that.

Speaking of type, I was talking to my friend Dave about Gilbert, and since he doesn't watch "Being Human," I had to link him to a clip from the show below and his reaction was, "That boy is nearly anorexic." That cracked me up mainly because it made me flashback to one time I was pointing out someone in the crowd to my friend Kelly and all she could say is, "You certainly have a type," and I really can't deny that statement. I guess I'm a creature of habit.

Another day in Chicago

2009-08-22T11:55:00.002-04:00

I was supposed to head back to New York today, but I've been informed of my flight being cancelled so I won't be heading out until tomorrow. (I could've left today on a noon flight, but I didn't find out about the cancellation until 10, and couldn't get through with the rebooking until 10:30, so it would've been cutting it a bit too close. I guess I could've just hightailed it over to the airport and tried to get rebooked there, but oh, well.

Anyhow, I'm glad I decided to extend my vacation into Monday at the last minute. The logic was I still wanted a "weekend" after I got back, but this works too.

Chicago coming up

2009-08-12T00:44:00.002-04:00

Got my plane ticket and crashing on my brother's couch next week. He just had a bunch of house guests because out of town friends were visiting Lolla...oh, and another out of town friend couldn't make it and gave my brother his three-day pass. FOR FREE. So lucky =(...He enjoyed himself quite a bit, but I'm hoping my visit won't be too taxing following up an event like that.

Hammering out some restaurants I'm going to drag him too. He sounds annoyed about having to go to restaurants, and I'm not going to show him which ones because I know he'll look up the menus and complain about how expensive it is. I'd much rather just, I don't know, spring the restaurant on him so he can't protest too much if we're already sitting and looking at a menu. I know he let me take him to Blackbird last time just to humor me, but he liked it. He can't deny it.

My mom said I should make him a bunch of "banchan" before I go, but I don't know how that'll work out unless I deliberately visited a Korean store with him. I did that the last time, relying on a friend's car. Brought in a huge haul of instant curry, microwave rice, dwaenjang jjigae in a sack, etc. etc.

"Just stir-fry him some dried anchovies, that's all," my mom said. Again, not as easy as it sounds unless I visit a Korean store to buy the dried anchovies to begin with. I'll have to see if I can work that in.

Heard something that was kind of sad

2009-08-07T21:48:00.004-04:00

On my way home a couple of days ago, I was walking down the steps of the subway station when I overheard a lady behind me say on her phone, "...well you know, my ex-husband is real excited. He can't wait until his daughter is born next month. He's really looking forward to it..."

Aw, I thought. That's nice. She said it real matter-of-factly. Like I could imagine they were the type of exes who managed to remain friends because I don't know, maybe it was an ill-advised marriage at a young age, or they both realized they were just better as friends than husband and wife? Who knows...

"...Yea everything I wanted he went and found it with someone else."

Womp-wooooomp. It was a total downer. She said it in the same matter-of-fact tone that made it even sadder for some reason than if she'd sounded bitter or angry or something. Like it sounded so, "What can you do, life sucks like that," because of the distinct lack of emotion. Man, that's what I get for eavesdropping on people.

This seems kind of appropriate in light of that. Yea, you know it. It's Classic Hits on Youtube Friday. Actually, listening to this is what reminded me of that total womp-womp moment. Moving on the Lenny Williams after this:

Aw, hell. well since I have your attention, might as well put this out there too. Man, I love this song. Sometimes...sometimes I come home to unwind, and I'll turn this on and just lip sync to it, it's just so awesome. Though it's mildly ill-advised to listen to this on your own. Especially if alcohol is involved. One time, back when I loved all on my own, after cracking open a beer I danced around on my own to this. All emoting and shit as I lip synced to it too. And another time after a glass or two of wine, I picked up my roommate's cat and my own private slowdance time. Yea...

The Supremes next!

Aw geez, I forget if Chicago gets real hot in August...

2009-07-28T15:48:00.003-04:00

...though according to the weather folks, the Midwest has been unseasonably cool this summer. Anyhow, I think it's time to check up on the kid bro. I've got a mini lull in August, so going to leap upon that opportunity. Need to make sure he's taking his studies seriously, check out his new place, be all, "Don't smoke in the house, man, unless you want this place to smell like ass. Living with mom and dad should've taught you that shit already. Go outside with a Coke can," give him a little pep talk about life (most probably we'll just sit back and listen to "C.R.E.A.M." 'cause, you know, that song's helped me in times of need), take him out or cook him some real food, maybe give him a little spending money or take him clothes shopping. The usual things you do when you visit a kid in college, ha. The last time I was there I was helping him move into his first dorm/apartment life setup. It seems just like yesterday. Come to think of it, it was kind of hot then too. Shit, when the hell was that?

A catch 22...of sorts

2009-07-23T02:23:00.002-04:00

I want it to be cool enough so I can pull out my hair dryer and see if I can turn my new short on the sides, long on the top haircut into a pompadour. I kind of want to blow it out on top and see if I can do that oil-slick black greaser type pomp, or at the very least get a Moz-like or Japanese-style regent perm height.

The problem is, for it to get that cool right now, there needs to be rain. And rain means hazy, steamy heat until the sky finally erupts in showers and then maybe you get a cool day or two afterwards. But all that moisture is going to be the death any height achievement. I guess if I could track down a strongass hairspray I can stave the effects a bit.

If all else fails, I guess I can comb and brush this out to see if I can do a Janelle Monae type afro puff pompadour.

It threw me for a "Crazy Loop," eh? EH?

2009-07-22T23:25:00.002-04:00

I was doing my usual Youtube thing. Replaying some videos for songs I haven't heard in a while, but don't actually like enough to spend money on when I was listening to "Crazy Loop (Mm Ma Ma)". And before you say anything, it's actually a really catchy tune, ok =(? I am not above listening to some Eurodance, I grew up in Korea for crying out loud. To give a little bit of context here, Crazy Loop was this sort of Damita Jo/Sasha Fierce-esque alter ego for Dan Balan. You better know him as one of the dudes from O-zone. Yea, the group that sang that Numa Numa song (by the way, check out the Crazy Loop remix of Balan's "Sugar Tunes," a remake of "Dragostea din tei"). You're probably wondering how I even know of this song or why do I even like it, look, you're talking to someone who has androgynous/cross-dressing Bulgarian pop sensation Azis queued up in their Youtube favorites list. Anyhow, I was watching the video for "Crazy Loop" when I spotted a familiar face. OMG THAT'S TAMMIE BROWN FROM RUPAUL'S DRAG RACE!! Aw, everyone thought Tammie was so weird and such, but that was her charm! She was doing that whole loopy Hollywood starlet thing with her Faye Dunaway as Joan Crawford lips. Ooh, yes, Tammie was totally equal parts Joan Crawford and Bette Davis circa "What Ever Happened to Baby Jane."

There's Tammie Brown at 2:55 and 3:19 in the video. No embedding allowed, so you'll actually have to click through here.

Reflection on laundry day

2009-07-18T14:47:00.002-04:00

Sitting on a plastic chair in front of the laundromat, I contemplated my current state. Headscarf tied around my head to keep my do fresh, check. That wasn't too bad, I kind of looked like Morris Day and his crew at the beginning of Purple Rain, so, you know, could've been a lot worse. But I remembered that I was also wearing a baggy Barsol Pisco promo tshirt, ill-fitting Scarface pajama pants (a picture of Scarface all up and down the pants with blinged out font saying "Scarface" and "Hu$tla" all over it. Fuck, yea). And old man slippers. I love old man slippers. All while reading a GQ. It looks like instead of blossoming into a woman, I'm slowly turning into that weird swinging bachelor uncle of yours who always smells of whiskey and Kools and sometimes randomly shows up at family functions with a new lady friend.

Fashion of the Future

2009-07-16T20:06:00.003-04:00

I used to find it hilarious when I'd watch films like Escape from New York, Demolition Man, or Johnny Mnemonic or any other films depicting the future and you'd see all the crazy clothes...and it just never seemed "futuristic" to me. I don't know, it all seemed so grounded in the fashions of now. It was more like they took all the worst elements of 80s and 90s fashion and decided that the future would love these terrible abortions of a fashion idea, and then some how add more dayglo and neon and awkward cuts of fabric, and there ya go.

However, nowadays, as I flip through the newest Urban Outfitters catalog (I have no fucking idea how they keep finding me. I put myself on that no catalogs list, and somehow I'm getting their catalog again 3 months later), or just walking down the streets of New York, period, I begin to think that maybe I was the stupid one for laughing. I see Wesley Snipes and his ridiculous ass platinum blond hair and his campy looking get up and I swear I might've seen someone in that getup, unironically, in some photo from Last Night's Party. Take any leather and chains future gang members, and you got a party in Bushwick right there.

On another note, I've lately been really into reading about colors. I'll randomly do some Wikipedia reading, but colors are proving to be fun. I also read this site too, that's all about colors through history. They have their own weird history and reasons for having names and whatnot, and I don't know, it's just interesting. Or you find out that a certain color no longer exists because color can go FUCKING EXTINCT because they ran out of a mineral or a source for that color a long time ago. I think that's just crazy. I mean, the fact that are colors that can no longer be recreated? Well, I guess they can somehow create a facsimile, but what about colors that stopped existing long ago where you might be able to see it in an old painting or something like that, but you can't be sure that's the exact color you're looking at that some other person from 200 years ago was looking at? Am I weird for thinking that's just really neat? Anyway, my latest fascination is with Paris Green. For one thing, it's poisonous. Also, it's not used in paints anymore because it's poisonous, but the fact that you can no longer get that same vibrant Emerald Green without it tickles that special part in my brain.

The more I think about it, I wonder if it's because little tidbits like these take me back to when I was younger, and I still believed something like magical realism was pretty damn plausible in the world. I mean just read the section on toxicity for Scheele's Green.

Just talkin' tacos, man

2009-07-05T22:23:00.001-04:00

"Don't get me wrong, I loooove Taco Bell, but sometimes...you want that real shit. Like where the tortilla is a corn tortilla...BUT NOT CRISPY. It's an oxymoron of food textures, all floppy and fall apart soft, yet grainy like a motherfucker."

The Hair, she is gone

2009-07-03T00:47:00.003-04:00

That's right. I got a haircut today, and it's now short. I look like a handsome boy. Actually, I look even more like brother. That's kind of weird...though honestly I'd been mistaken for a handsome boy before when I was just a baby. Thank God I have boobs...

Anyhow after consulting my spiritual hair inspirators Rihanna, Janelle Monae and 80s Prince, I got a whole bunch of my raven curls lopped off. Damn, you know what else I just remembered that I look like? I look like a chubby, tan, brunette Robyn...which means I don't look much like Robyn at all, but you know what I mean. Though the humidity on the walk home has turned me into Domyouji Tsukasa from Boys Over Flowers, HA.

I took a quick photo back home and so far the Facebook audience has been approving.

I got my hair cut at Whistle today (first time there) and Tom, my hair dude for today was so excited when I told him I wanted to cut my kudzu growth like mess of curly hair. He almost squee-ed as he said, "Omg, this is going to be so much fun! I'm excited!!"

I was excited that he was excited. We were going on this crazy awesome journey together!

This is going to take some getting used to though. Like, I'm feeling phantom hair pains. Like I feel like I feel hair back there, but when I reach up to touch there's nooooothing. SPOOOOOKY.

A blog entry about pubes, but this'll totally blow your mind, Western beauty standards

2009-07-01T00:12:00.003-04:00

So I'm watching the local Korean TV affiliate I get on cable only to see an ad that puzzles me. I'd watched enough Korean cable that this company was familiar to me as makers of this thing you put on your eyelashes to make it grow thicker longer, but...the ad was different.

They showed some generic Venus statue replica, as a voiceover intones, "Want a confident Y-line?"

And I'm all "Y-line?"

You gotta understand, in Korean parlance, a shapely body's referred to having an S-line. Or if you're joking around with a beer-bellied friend you might refer to their "O-line." But this Y-line shit was new to me.

As I was mulling this over in the split-second it registerd in my brain, I saw several triangular bushes, and my eyes widened as I realized what this "Y-line" was. Now the triangular bushes isn't all that original in the whole pube grooming ad department. So my first thought was, "Huh...I guess it's a depilatory cream for the bikini line. Though that sounds like a pretty bad idea."

But THEN the ad goes, "for a more lush and..."

"LUSH??" I almost lost it because I realized this cream was for encouraging lady bush growth. Seriously, how unexpected is that? When everyone's busy advertising ways to mow down and salt the earth here's a cream for making the carpet nice and fluffy?

References are fun

2009-06-20T00:24:00.002-04:00

I already posted a link to this on Facebook, but had to share it here too:

"This cracked me so hard I had to bite my tongue. It was the best kind of inward guffaw. The kind where the brain just skims over and does a little mental heh, but then the gravity of the reference being made hits you like a ten-ton truck u-turning to make sure it gets you this time since it only sideswiped you the first time around and your brain seizes up and goes "HAHAW, William Carlos Williams." in Sebben's voice."

http://www.marriedtothesea.com/061809/dear-william.gif

On growing older when you've technically be prematurely old for a while

2009-06-16T02:24:00.003-04:00

I recently had to sign up as cosigner for my little brother's apartment lease. For those out of the loop, my kid brother started college last year. My parents' had such crap credit that I ended up cosigning those loans as well. So besides my own student loans those are other things on my plate. Not that I'm annoyed by this, I'm glad my brother's going to school period. It's just weird how I've always been this sort of surrogate parent not just for my brother but for myself with a lot of things you'd expect the adult in your life to do.

Most people sort of have a moment where they're all "OMG. I'm paying for my own crap! I'm an adult" kind of moment, but the older I get the more I realize a lot of this "I'm a big kid now" crap is a little too familiar. Let's just say life is a little skewed when you're a 10 year old worried about not having enough money to make rent, let alone aware of such things as rent needing to be paid. Don't get me wrong. It's not like we were ever poor poor, we got by. Nonetheless I blame a lot of my weird hangups about and obsession with amassing money on that.

Writing your own parents' notes to your teacher is kind of embarrassing and pretty annoying. That one month I had to pay my own middle school tuition kind of sucked.

Anyhow, having to fax in that cosigner application this weekend was just another reminder how this shit got old a long time ago. I had no cake, but how about this for a birthday wish: For once, I'd like to totally just let everything go and have someone with their shit together enough that I feel like they can take care of me. Like for once be able to feel like I can gamble and fuck up and I'm not the one taking care of being patient of other people around me. I don't know, I always feel like I'm the one who has to like keep it together and listen to other people's problems, be their shoulder to cry on, put up with their tantrums and issues. Just once, like, I don't know, be allowed to have a little meltdown or something. And not worry about someone else's baggage and have them be like, "It's cool, daddy-o." Or a big one. A full on freak out. Whatever. Breathing into paper bags can be involved if need be. I'm not picky.

Smacked by hubris

2009-06-15T17:10:00.004-04:00

So remember I made a minor crack about making shower mac and cheese like Hubert Keller previously? No? Well, anyhow, I shouldn't have spoke so soon because my landlord dismantled the kitchen sink to fix a leak, and like Gilligan's Island, what he presented as a quick 1-hour fix job is slowly turning into a 3-day project. I'm not making pasta with shower water just yet, but let's just say I'm annoyed at having to buy take out because I really don't feel like doing dishes in the bathroom sink again. I've never been so unhappy about having to order pizza. It's...it's just not what I wanted.

Oh, hey, so yea, I guess it's my birthday

2009-06-11T21:32:00.002-04:00

I haven't had a birthday party in a long time. Like I'm pretty sure the last time I had one...I was like 12 or 11. Since then I haven't really done anything particularly birthday like. I don't know, my own birthday always kind of weirded me out. I'd forgotten my birthday was coming up until my mom called me yesterday. And then all day today the date would look weird when I'd see it on the computer and stuff and I'd realize, "Oh, yea. That date's my birthday." It's kind of ridiculous.

Twenty-six. Wow. Man, that's kind of scary as fuck. Just this past weekend some kid in my neighborhood tried to run game on me. I looked him up and down wearily (I was dragging my suitcase with me from the subway stop and I was pretty bushed) and just said, "Look, you're obviously too young for me."

His answer? "What do you mean? I'm 20."

Yeeeeea. That just made me feel older. God, 20 feels like just yesterday. I was all socially awkward and totally in love and the world was still had some mystery. And now...wait, you're expecting me to say I'm a cynical dried husk of a person. Actually, no. I KNOW RIGHT? I mean this is both surprising and not considering I'm not really a sunshines and puppies person to begin with. Let's be honest, there's really not much lower I can go with my cynicism and such. And that's good. I mean, I feel kind of grown up. I'm not gonna lie and talk about how I grew into my skin and shit, because, I don't think that's ever happening. Then again, I think I'm over the hysterics and bullshit of a lot of things. Difference between now and then is then I *thought* was over it all.

Now? I don't know. It's just life, man.

Tangent: This reminds me of a conversation I was having with my friend Joe about why I liked zombie movies. I was talking about how I always liked zombie films, not because it turned into this huge fad, but the thing that always scares me the most in horror films is the futility and bleakness of human existence. That's what's scary about life. That's why apocalyptic crap I can get into. When the Fearnet channel (come baaack) still existed on Time Warner Cable, I finally got to watch Hostel. I seriously laughed out loud watching that movie. I could not believe people were making such a bigass damn deal about gore porn when it had come out because it was just laughable. That's not scary. It was silly...anyway, around that time Joe asked me if I liked Haneke and then said that I was a terrible person with no heart (not because of Haneke, but because of the whole bleakness and futility bit). He might have a point.

Anyhow, I've been thinking I should do a bit more now that I'm older. Specifically, gotta be a bit more brave. So I guess I should try some things I've been only thinking about doing for the longest time ever. And I don't mean like my dream trips stuff, I mean like the attainable small stuff. For example, I keep thinking I should help out with the Big Sister/ Big Brothers program or BoostUp. Or on a smaller, more shallow scale, chopping off all my hair in a short, short style. Let's see what we can get done this year. Just this and that.

Oh, so my birthday party. Yea, probably not happening. I mean, I'm thinking maybe I'll plan a viewing party at the old casa of Zatoichi movies. I got an entire box set of a couple of the earlier flicks. Or old horror movies. That's always a favorite. I got a couple, but I've already seen these a couple of times, so if I go with that, I think it'll mean I have to find some other old horror flicks. Or maybe just do a viewing party of Top Chef Masters. I could even make mac and cheese in honor of Hubert Keller who is totally awesome. Though mine won't have prawns like his fancy mac and cheese from the dorm cooking challenge. But I can rinse the pasta in the shower like he did if people want the experience.

More evidence that instant messenger lowers IQ

2009-06-09T17:20:00.002-04:00

Me: did I tell you I fed an elephant carrots?
Kelly: OHHH, YES, and he farted on you or something?
Me: no no she splattered snot all over me
because they noses be juicy

I don't know why, but the fact that I typed "they noses be juicy" is cracking me up over here even though I full on know there isn't anything all that funny about it.

Miscellanea update, oh and Terminator wasn't that bad, guys

2009-06-09T00:47:00.004-04:00

**Spoiler warning**

Alright, so I need to get back into the habit of updating this scene right here I guess, so let's start off small, slow and easy. So what's been up with me? Not a whole lot I guess. Now living in Queens with an awesome roommate and his awesome cat. Still feeling like I'm just a kid when I see so many people who seem to be "growing up" by having kids and buying houses when I just want to go out to shows and make art or just fucking drop everything and go someplace. Being hit by the recent economic bullshit (though not as much since I was always kind of broke) just like everyone else and finding that even though I feel like wanting to just go out to shows, make art or just fucking drop everything and go someplace, I can't really do that. Then realizing I'd rather eat homemade cheap bean burritos and contemplate how to do things cheap/for free/via "creative appropriation" than worry about how I'm going to buy a house because I now have rugrats that need a yard/good school district/peace and quiet. Figuring that for me ambition isn't about how much stuff I can get, but how many different things I can do before I get too old to do anything. Hooray for Peter Pan syndrome.

I have little enough that I'm not too worried or put out about not having as much as before, but have just enough responsibilities to make it a little annoying, but that's life for you. Recently got my first Mac. First as in, "first that I bought with my own money and own, not the Macs in the labs when I was in school/learning print design." Realized the old machine had only 256MB in RAM. It had a good 5 year run though. Besides, it still has its uses for web work as a Windows machine with IE, so it hasn't been entirely put out to pasture. Went to some museums. FINALLY visited the Newseum. Met artists (my hero)/went to their gallery openings. Felt inspired. Haven't really put the inspiration to action yet. Now wondering if I should've just gone to art school like I actually wanted to. Now wondering if it's too late to do that now. Learned how to float shit in CSS, but just kind of sort of. Now trying to tackle Illustrator. More recently, find myself cursing Bacardi for getting that Matt and Kim song stuck in my head. Nothing wrong with the song, I just find it a little annoying when things like that subconsciously worm their way into your brain. And it's just weird when you hear songs you know in ads. Like when I'd see the previews for Fast and Furious and I'm like, "WTF. Is that Does It Offend You Yeah?" Oh, and probably finally working up enough courage to basically shave half the hair off my head. And just yesterday I felt triumphant after having successfully replicated Panera Bread's Strawberry Poppyseed salad. It's the little things folks.

So now we're caught up with what's going on with me when I found myself in D.C. post work-related event with a couple of hours to kill before taking the 3:15am train back to New York. I didn't particularly feel like crashing at anyone's place because I'd already spent a long weekend in D.C. the weekend prior, upping the punx, by which I mean I looked up a bunch of folks I hadn't seen in a while and thoroughly underestimated how busy I'd be just doing that. I wasn't really too keen on the idea of squeezing in on anyone's weekend plans either, mainly because it was kind of late and I didn't feel like navigating the city with the time I had before getting on the train. Though I have to point out, I guess once you get acquainted with using a subway system, after that all subway systems are pretty damn easy to navigate. Also, its fun to compare and contrast. I'd group the Metro with the Korean subway system and the Tube. Toronto and New York have their own things going on.

I texted some folks to figure out the nearest theater was, preferably within a stop or two, so Chinatown/Gallery Place preferably, and quickly walked into a theater and bought my ticket for the last showing of Terminator: Salvation five minutes into the previews.

I actually liked the movie. I really didn't think the movie was as bad as everyone was saying, though I'm totally on board with the McG distaste. The only thing I didn't really like about the movie was more or less a collection of what I like to call "McG wanking away at the thought of being part of the Terminator legacy." There were just way too many wink-wink, nudge-nudge moment and Easter eggs for people already familiar with the franchise. It was as if McG was in "holy shit, wouldn't this be awesome??" 13 year old mode.

Like say when Kyle Reese, as adorable as Anton Yelchin is, says "Come with me if you want to live," I have expected him to look into the camera and wink. Or when John Connor is heading off to attack Skynet and his wife is all "What do I tell your men when they notice you're gone?" and Christian Bale practically does a dramatic pause before saying, "Tell them...I'll be back." Really? REALLY? Or how John Connor turns on a boombox to lure those motorcycle terminators and it just so HAPPENS to play "You Could Be Mine." Yes, because apparently in a robot apocalypse one of the few songs to survive is the Guns 'n' Roses theme song for a movie based on events that previously happened.

I'm not saying references or paying homage is bad, but there's a thin line between paying homage and creaming your pants over references and your own perceived cleverness. Like cg Arnold was kind of funny and a little neat to see, and I'm not saying the lines were dumb, it was just so pointedly shoved in though that it took me out of the movie a couple of times.

The sad thing is those bits are annoying enough that I don't know if I'd watch the movie again. However, it did it's job, helped me waste some time. I actually liked how bleak it was and its depiction of human survival after Judgment Day. But goddamn it got a bit much at some points.

Wow, weird

2009-06-06T22:13:00.003-04:00

I didn't entirely forget that this space exists, but life's just made me a little busier. I've got another blog that's been draining my attention and time to fiddle with my baby here. I feel like I've been two-timing on my first blog. Busy with work. Just got back from being in D.C. for to consecutive weekends, and only returned from St. Louis today. Anyhow, I'm trying to regain a bit of my life back so I'll be putting stuff up here again. I don't know in what capacity, but I'll try to have something happen here again soon.

Food for thought until that happens: Should I go to art school like I always secretly wanted to?

Going down (musical) memory lane yet again

2008-09-09T16:38:00.003-04:00

Chat logs aren't that hilarious most of the time, but this was too good to not save, because, you know...we're all so damn old now and our musical tastes are just so awesome (misspellings and bad grammar all intact):

me: I wanna see tpc again =(
they're so much fun and I'm going to get married to the keyboard player
he doesn't know it yet, but that's because it's gonna happen in the next five years
4:06 PM Steve: come down to atlanta, you can see them with me
me: why the hell are you in atlanta?
Steve: not yet
4:07 PM i'm going up for a weekend in octoba
me: octoba?
ha
Steve: see the zoo, see the aquarium
yes it is my flippant way of saying october
me: I know I know, but..."octoba"?
Steve: and they have cool hotel that allows dogs
so i am bringing the pup and we are going to atlanta
me: have you heard tpc before though?
4:08 PM Steve: i have not
i am going to download them
me: it's way more fun if you dance/sing along
Steve: just like i am going to download some drive by truckers, who i am going to see this veekend
(another CLEVER spelling)
me: don't pay attention to hipsters who stand still and just nod
they play anthem-y dancey garage rock
4:09 PM Steve: badass
sounds fun
me: I think the fat dirty bassline the lead singer plays is part of that danceability...also the enthusiastic tambourine playing and shout alongs of the keyboardist helps
4:10 PM Steve: there is a small problem with this
me: what's this?
Steve: i also have to see angels and airwaves
me: aaannd?
Steve: and they suck
me: hahahhaa
wait is this the tour tpc is playing with weezer?
or is that just for new york?
4:11 PM Steve: yeah
me: oooooh
Steve: i didn't really want to go see weezer at all, but i'm going with some friends and they want to see weezer, so i'm seeing weezer
me: they did a cover of friendo at the sunday show to commemorate it
Steve: for the third time
heh
me: haha I've never seen weezer
and the only reason I'm not going to see tpc again is because I'm not sure I want to see weezer live. Love them to bits, but I don't know
4:12 PM Steve: well
me: like the only thing to convince me to go is to drool at rivers cuomo in person, but yea, they're not particularly an act I'm itching to see in the flesh
Steve: they were fun the first time
i saw them with ozma and get up kids
me: oh MAN
it's like you're talking about FOREVER ago
Steve: hahahaha
the get up kids to this day are the only band during whose show i have actually fallen asleep
me: omg did like rites of spring play?
sunny day real estate?
Steve: hahaha
ozma was fun though
4:13 PM then i saw them with ozma (again) and saves the day
me: I'm saving this whole section of the chat
because seriously
Steve: and saves the day were abhorrent
haha
hmm let's see
i can't think of any other funny shows i have seen atm
me: this is how old people must feel like when they say "kids don't know music today...it's not like when I'd see frankie vallie live
4:14 PM Steve: i could make up something about braid and the promise ring opening up for guided by voices but i'll refrain
me: or they complain about how elvis knew how to put on a show and all this hopping around and screaming isn't real performance or some bullshit
Steve: but i'm not complaining, weezer was never that great live
me: hahaha
Steve: actually i did see guided by voices
me: well that's why I never saw death cab for cutie live
Steve: and they were awesome
ugh
me: I'm sorry but I really don't think it's gonna be super exciting to see them live
Steve: i dig some of their stuff
esp transatlanticism
yeah
i dunno, rivers writes some fun songs, but they're not a fun band to see
4:15 PM he doesn't get into it, and he's still stuck in that whole disdain for his audience thing he's had since pinkerton bombed
me: I vowed never to see saves the day live after hearing them on david letterman or some other late night show
Steve: fucking christ it was like swabbing my ears with brillo pads
4:16 PM me: and like I actually liked some of their songs
Steve: ugh
me: but I was like "live? Never"
Steve: i went with this girl in whose pants i was trying to get
me: I especially loved the entire album of "In Reverie" actually
Steve: (how's that grammar bitch)
anyway
me: dude, weren't we ALL just trying to get in someone's pants when we listened to shit back in the day?
Steve: haha
me: I mean come on
Steve: yes we were
4:17 PM me: there was no fucking flirting or foreplay
Steve: it was just "yeah, i'd love to go see bright eyes"
me: it was shit like *adjust studded belt* "Uh yea, like, I can't believe so and so left subpop records and signed with a big label...."
Steve: haw
4:18 PM "yeah, i mean, i know he's still got the talent, but there's this great indelible something that he'll never be able to recapture now. you wearing panties?"
me: and shit like "Yea, I really really like identify with Conor Oberst, but when I think about you and write these thinly veiled lj entries about you and how much I like you, Cursive's "Rhyme Scheme" is what comes to mind..."
Steve: man
4:19 PM i wonder what percentage of men at a bright eyes show are there so they can fuck the person they took there
i bet it's close to cher levels
4:20 PM me: I think it's equal to the number of guys who listened to metric and will never admit because they girl in that band was really really hot and it was all about the music
Steve: i listen to metric but it is at least partially because she is so hot
me: which also equals that of guys who go to rilo kiley shows with the sad sad hope they will sleep with jenny lewis
Steve: it is good pop though
me: oh it is
4:21 PM Steve: i've almost been there too
me: but I'm just saying, let's not lie about ulterior motives
Steve: jenny lewis would jump at the chance to bone me
right?
RIGHT?
...
me: oh yea
right after rivers cuomo gets in a threesome with me and conor oberst
river cuomo likes asian chicks...he'll dig a half asian...right? right? it'd be like going on a diet...Asian lite
4:22 PM Steve: haha
anyway i am going to see drive by truckers, mates of state, motion city soundtrack and a bunch of other bands this weekend because i knew a foo fighters song from 1994 on the radio
me: ha sounds like fun. Also this is getting posted EVERYWHERE I can post
4:23 PM because I was practically crying by the "indelible something or other" part
Steve: hehe
4:24 PM there is a high school cheerleader in my office
i am confused
4:25 PM me: IT'S A TRAP
4:26 PM Steve: thx admiral

WTF hopstop?

2008-08-19T03:05:00.002-04:00

I am NOT walking 45 minutes to LaGuardia airport. Are you serious? And I know I can catch the M60 at Astoria...so what's the deal? I was just trying to check how long it'd take to get to the airport and this is what you do to me?

Chicago confirmed

2008-08-14T21:18:00.002-04:00

Will be in Chicago next week.

Anybody got any tips for computer buying? I think my brother will need to buy one, but it's been so long since I've done any kind of computer shopping so any suggestions would be very helpful.

My presence might be required in Chicago

2008-07-27T23:01:00.002-04:00

Not sure yet, but there's a chance I need to head out there in August. Anybody I haven't seen in a while, we should hang. Also if I get to go, that means I can go check out the Violet Hour and that'd be pretty sweet.

Not so glad to be moving

2008-06-26T04:00:00.003-04:00

Oh my God I suck at packing. I seriously really cannot deal with this at all. I'm still packing for a move that is happening on Friday. I think I got...a small amount of it done tonight, but I think there's a chance I will have to pull an all-nighter tomorrow night to be ready for the movers. I just patched my doorframe that the super took a damn chunk out of and I need to spackle a tile back on in the bathroom (nope, not my fault, fell off on its own. I suspect it was a shoddy grout job and on top of that it was a tile placed directly over a pipe so there was probably some expanding/contracting that loosened it). I want as much of that deposit back as possible.

But Astoria here I come. Another neighborhood for me to conquer.

Glad to be moving pt. 2

2008-06-19T02:57:00.002-04:00

So I come home today to flyers plastered all over the building. The lobby, in the elevator, in the halls, even had one shoved underneath my door.

What about? Basically warning us to be careful who we let in through the front doors because there's been a rash of thefts committed by trespassers. Especially on weekends and Sundays.

OK. This means that it's happened more than once for management to notice a pattern. On weekends. Which means there have been thefts happening in this building for at least two weeks now. Wow.

Another musical walk down memory lane

2008-06-14T00:48:00.002-04:00

Listening to "Tarzan Boy" made me reminesce about Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles III.

But I didn't stop there.

Now, for the songs that reminds me of being a kid in Korea during the late 80s-mid 90s. This also is the song that reminds me that Koreans had/have some fuckin' cornyass musical tastes when it comes to pop music. Really. We're talking about a country that practically orgasmed in unison over Richard Marx. The Scorpions are worshipped. Nuno effin' Bettencourt performed in the country...OK, Nuno's pretty awesome though, but I'm just saying...Koreans fuckin' love Extreme. Then there was the summer I could not get away from Colin Blunstone's "Tiger in the Night." And like, I actually like that song, but it got used in EVERYTHING. That's more late 90s I suppose. But goddamn. That's another thing. Some songs just get used to death. I'm just saying, you know how they have those weird Japan-only releases of CDs? Because it's shit that only sells in Europe and Asia, man. Yea.

London Boys "Harlem Desire"? Fuck yes.

Oh, this was my favorite. And also a corollary to the Koreans love cheesy pop music. They also SUPER love power ballads by metal bands. Every dramatically poignant moment got treated to this Stratovarius pleasure. There used to be this chocolate chip cookie ad on TV and it was like a Romeo and Juliet themed thing. Like the girl was dressed up like Olivia Hussey in Romeo and Juliet (Topic for next time...actors/actresses that Koreans fixate on and my childhood in the 90s. Possible topics of discussion. Olivia Hussey, Sophie Marceau...)

My subconscious decides to give me a birthday gift

2008-06-12T13:47:00.003-04:00

My birthday came and went. I didn't really do anything about it because a) I was at the office until 9:30 and b) well, I was at the office until 9:30. If I don't feel so lazy on the weekend maybe I'll do something, but quite honestly the whole b-day momentum has lost its hoopla. Also, I haven't really had/done birthday parties since I was like 12 so I feel weird trying to plan something out and get people together to hang out and whatever in birthday-related situations.

So I guess my brain decides I need to have a weird insane dream about what I'd like to do in lieu of actually getting to go out and do something on my birthday. Even weirder is you can totally tell what's been on my brain or what I've been reading or paying attention to the past couple of days from this dream.

In my dream I'm hanging out with a friend (I can't remember if it was a specific friend from real life or just a stand-in my brain created. I feel like it was someone I know and it was touching on a conversation I had with someone recently, but anyway...) who introduced me to two of her friends. And they ask me what I'd like to do and have fun doing. So over the course of convo I find out their really into food and stuff and we start talking about reservation policies and we head on down to a Jean-Georges Vongrichten restaurant ("Ha, you know you gotta give them your credit card number and if you don't show up for your table they make you pay for it?"). Yea, I know.

So we're chowin' down and the chef decides to let us try some specials on the house and we're having a good time talking about the menu items asking questions and stuff. So afterwards we decide to go to the museum/gallery to check out some artwork and it's like all my favorite artist up in that piece. So we're browsing and stuff when all of the sudden fuckin' Gary Busey comes into the store and me and my group are looking over in his direction all "No way! That's Gary Busey!" and dream me totally had met Gary Busey before and we'd chilled and stuff but I wasn't sure if he'd remember me so I didn't want to bring it up to my friends that I once hung out with Gary Busey, but was thinking how cool would it be if he recognized me, then my friend and my new friends would think I was so awesome. At that moment Gary Busey looks at me and says, "Hey! Long time no see!" And comes over and we start chatting and I can totally tell by the looks on my friends' faces that now they think I'm absolutely the shit.

So Gary has this dude with him and calls him over and introduces us and Gary's all, "Guys, I'd like you to meet...Yves Saint Laurent." Dream me is all "NO FUCKING WAY!" and Yves Saint Laurent is all "YES WAY!"

So he and I start walking around the museum and we talk about French literature. He likes talking about Proust, but I'm interested to hear about his childhood in Algeria. And I ask how what he's doing at the gallery that day, and Yves Saint Laurent was talking about how he likes to get inspired from artwork and I was all "Yea, dude. Like I really like Mondrian's flowers." And then I feel really dumb because I remember he did a bunch of dresses based on those Mondrian rectangles? But like Yves Saint Laurent in the dream wasn't a douche by sniffily pointing that out, he actually seemed delighted I liked Mondrian's flowers.

Right then the gallery owner/museum curator guy came out and was all, "Monsieur, do we have a treat for you today!" in such an excited way like he was about to pee his pants and pulled out this humongoid Mondrian piece. And dream Yves Saint Laurent put his hand to his mouth and gasped and right then Gary Busey came up behind us put his arms on our shoulders, hugged us close and said, "Saint Laurent, man...I'm gonna BUY you that kooky ass painting!"

AND HE DID.

You can take the girl away from the hair dye but you can't....take the hair dye away......er, what?

2008-06-09T00:03:00.001-04:00

So after three successful years of not having any sort of hair dye/bleach/tint/what have you come near my hair, I'm suddenly consumed by the desire to have silver hair.

Too hot. Can't sleep.

2008-06-08T04:52:00.004-04:00

Underboob sweat is my nemesis. Not to mention that there's a mouse slowly nibbling away at a wall somewhere in my apartment that's driving me nuts with the sound.

Anyhow, I'm moving. Er, trying to move at least. I don't know why I didn't move last year. Wait, I know, I was broke. Well, I was initially sad about the prospect of moving from the Heights because I really do like the area I live in, at the same time, my decision to try and move out is making more and more sense.

So to feel better about moving from a neighborhood I actually enjoy and have come to love and call home, here's a list of adorable "quirks" about my apartment that won't make me miss it:

1. Mice. Effin' mice. Then again, it's New York, and it's not that surprising I suppose. The last apartment was the worse. It was a very old rickety building so there were tons of mice. Here, I haven't really had a huge mice problem with, just sporadic incidents. Though there were some harrowing times. I'm just sick and tired of them. Thankfully, future roommate comes packaged with a stepkitty.

2. No water (IN THE SUMMER). What do I mean by this? Well, when the mercury starts climbing the fire hydrants start going off. "Oh, how so New York," you might coo, but guess what. The water pressure already sucks in my apartment, so whenever someone decides to fire off a hydrant to cool off guess who is practically squeezing water out of there faucet? Let me help you out. It's the same person writing up this blog entry.

3. Awkward. My place is just...awkward. Awkward layout, awkward materials. For example, my non-closet closet. The really short and narrow bathroom. Also, this is the second apartment I've been in that has had the showerhead in a weird place. It's not up against the wall along the short part of the tub so you'd have the whole length for the water, but it's against the wall that's against the long side of the tub. It's just weird. Also I'm supremely annoyed my bedroom window is against the fire escape. It's just mad creepy. The partitioning of the entire place is just awkward. Though I like one awkward part of my apartment. When you open the door it literally opens right into the bathroom. The bathroom's between the bedroom and the living room/kitchen area so there's a little 4"x5" "hallway". One side's the bathroom, the other's the door. It's weird trying to come into the house with more than one person, but let me just say that when you have to pee really bad, it's awesome.

Overall, it wasn't a terrible place to live, but I'm kind of getting tired of it's shit I suppose. There's probably some other things I'm just not remembering at the moment, but the water thing really ticked me off today because I was thinking, "WTF, the hottest day...oh, wait. It's hot, that's why there's no water."

On top of that I'm being attacked by mosquitoes. Dammit. Anyhow, I'm trying to get started with my packing. Just so that once everything's settled I'm not up all night packing my shit in a huge panic.

I'm still sweating. I could kill for another Paloma or Pisco Sour right about now.

I'm gonna be in New Orleans in July. I know, hot hot hot. Oh, dear. On a mildly related note, I'm still trying to see what this year's vacation trip is going to be if I even do go. The "cheap" option would be to visit my cousin up in Canada, the expensive route is to go volunteer with Hard Working Class Heroes in Dublin. We'll figure this out later. I also still need to make it down to DC to check out the Newseum. I'll try to do it sooner than later.

Besides the heat I've had a cough that's been bothering me for...about a week and a half now. Someone told me I should check in with a doctor and my reaction was "A doctor for a cough? I feel fine it's just a cough." However, then someone else informed me, "Yea, you usually feel fine, up until you feel worse and die." Which is true. Either way, I'm coughing a bit less frequently and with less force so I'm going to give it another week until I diagnose myself with consumption and die wasting away a most lady-like and romantic death.

And to close, a random observation. Even with the pedostache he's been sporting lately, Rivers Cuomo is still adorable. How does he do it?

Why the internet rules

2008-05-22T03:23:00.003-04:00

Free books. Downloaded some pulp scifi stuff on a whim, then remembered I'd recently read "A Princess of Mars" and was pleased to find some more of the John Carter Mars series there too. Then that made me think I should see if I could find some more books in the vein of League of Extraordinary Gentlemen related works. I ended up downloading Carnacki the Ghost-Finder and Captain Blood as well, so looking forward to reading those.

Soup recipe help

2008-05-18T23:45:00.001-04:00

If anyone out there knows how to make the cabbage soup at Veselka, please let me know. I've been looking at a variety of Ukrainian cabbage soups (some are sweet and sour with apples. Sounds good, but not what I'm looking for) and other "kapusta" types of recipes (but some ask for split pea, so I'm confused). Anyhow, I might end up just seeing if I can make something similar-ish after looking at several recipes, but if anyone knows for sure how to make this particular soup, let me know...

I'm TIRED

2008-05-17T22:15:00.002-04:00

Oh God. So last night I went to GBH's ten year anniversary bash. I mostly wanted to see Grandmaster Flash spin, and oh my God. It was the best dancing to be had ever. The other DJ sets were good too, but Grandmaster Flash fucking set that thing OFF. His set was about three hours long and so much damn fun (though I kind of couldn't get into his "for the ladies part." Dancing to J'Lo and Beyonce isn't much my thing). I'm still sore from dancing until 3 am. When we were walking to the car I had to drag a Korean chick away from some skeevy asshole who was trying to hit on her and she was all mad and shit and I was afraid she was going to reel back and try to pop the fucker one and it would've gotten ugly. Anyhow I was trying to calm her down in Korean until her friend came and collected her. Kelly asked me how I knew she was Korean and I said, "Me and my people. We have a connection." Also, Filet-o-Fish tastes awesome at 5 in the morning.

Addendum to my post about this past weekend

2008-05-13T23:23:00.002-04:00

Kelly: i forgot, did you add singing "kissed by a rose" to that list on your blog?
Me: o...m...g
Me: I need to
Me: HAAAAAAAA I can't believe I didn't include that
Kelly: ediiiit!
Kelly: hahah

---------------------------

Um, yea. I forgot about quite possibly one of the more awesome things to happen this weekend. Singing "Kissed by a Rose" in a small shop in Chinatown as it came on the radio and not caring if anybody saw us belting out "BaaaaayBAAAAAAAAAAY I compare you to a kiss on the rose on the grave.. OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO the more I get of you the stranger it feels, yeeeAAAA..." with appropriate emotion.

Awesome weekend

2008-05-11T15:19:00.002-04:00

Kelly needs to hurry up and send me pictures of the weekend because this is one for the scrapbook for sure.

- a fuckin' awesome brunch at Clinton Street Baking Co.
- meeting two adorable girls making great jewelry
- buying a necklace that's sure to become a family heirloom from said girls
- an Indian wedding taking place in a school playground and much getting down with taking part on a big ol' frog
- side boob pictures ("How YOU doin'?")
- gnomes
- 9/11 memorial mural featuring a disconcertingly happy Big Bird
- sitting in a park in Chinatown watching some b-boy dance it up
- (still the same park) watching kids play and contemplating kidnapping one
- "Eff you, stick! I'm going to play with String!"
- (still the same park) picking out our future selves from amongst the "sassy bag and hat" combo old Chinese ladies(the one old lady with the red plaid shirt is SO Kelly, I made her take a picture)
- watching some skateboarders on a bike path on Canal(dude in the brown cords, call me)
- Kelly buying a dookie chain
- making Kelly wear her dookie chain with her Adidas track jacket when going out later in that evening
- bubble tea!
- my Diana Ross hair
- Kelly: "I...sorry, I'm just still drinking all that hair in. Seeing it in person is...just wow. Sorry."
- "I wasn't like this, until I caaaaaaaaaame in this motherfuckin' house!"
- Kelly and I love you, Alex. That's all.
- the lovely crossdressin' ladies Britney-ing it up in our car on the train ride down to the Lower East Side
- wishing I danced well enough to jump and join them
- being disappointed they didn't give Kelly and me a lap dance while they slinkily danced around some very uncomfortable looking guys
- the Chris Brown lookin' dude and his crew
- hopping off the train and striking a b-boy pose at the Broadway-Lafayette station
- cute bearded guy out on a "dudes night out" with his buddies at a bar
- later on, as they filed out past us to leave, having one of the buddies tell me, "Yeeaaah, he wants you." Me: ??? (Me reflecting on the situation later on: "Thanks a lot, mofo. You needed to tell me which one so I could make my move. Especially considering out of all of you there's only one I'd actually talk to").
- letting Hulkamania run wild several times throughout the entire weekend ("Brrrrrother!")

God damn you, first person view!

2008-05-07T00:01:00.005-04:00

I would totally play this...for about 15 minutes before getting really frustrated and turning the game off and not playing it again for another 3 weeks. I suck at first person shit. I'd still play this though. And if the music in this preview thing is any clue, it'll had a decent soundtrack.

OH! SO ON SUNDAY....

2008-05-01T20:43:00.002-04:00

...I was walking up Broadway to get to Union Square. I'd just dropped some film off and it took longer than usual and I felt like I was running late, so I'm bustlin' my ass up the street when I see someone walking towards me looking might familiar. That two-toned hair, that skinny frame, impeccably dressed...

"HOLY SHIT IT'S EFFIN' DOC HAMMER!!!" My brain screams before it decides to shut down.

I realize that I'm pretty much staring at him with this look on my face: =O

Now, I don't know if he noticed me noticing him or even noticed the ridiculous on my face because he had on a pair of sunglasses and was puffing away at a cigarette as he smoothly made his way down the street.

So my brain finally restarts, and by the time it says, "Oh, dude, you have to say something to him!" He's already walked past me and there's no way I'm running after the poor man. I even had my camera and eeeeeeverything! I should've asked him for an autograph or something. I can't believe I just let him walk past me.

Then again, maybe it was for the better. I'm more worried he would've found me bothersome or something. And it was like the weekend after Comic Con. He probably needed a break from nerds pawing at him. Last thing he needed was for some weird chick to scream, "OHMAGAAAAAAAAAAWWWW!!! I FUCKING LOVE VENTURE BROS.!!!!" at him as he's walking down the street.

But if Mr. Hammer happens to see this for some unknown reason. I'm seriously a big fan, and not a weirdo at all, but I'm still so sad and disappointed in myself that I did not say hi or something.

And on a completely different note

2008-04-22T00:47:00.001-04:00

I didn't go to Comic Con this year, but I wish I had because Grant Morrison was there. And, omg, he says his favorite work of his is The Filth. ME TOO!!!

Siiiiiiiiiiiigh.

A post about last night's show for real (and I'm old)

2008-04-21T23:05:00.003-04:00

Wow, not only have I not blogged in a long time, I haven't blogged about shows in a long while as well.

Ha, the previous post was pretty damn random simply because I was totally flabbergasted about the chick touching my hair and I needed to tell the story. Now, about last night's Tokyo Police Club show at the Bowery Ballroom...

I had taken care of my business and got there around 6:30, or a little after. The doors weren't supposed to open until 8, but Alex said he'd be there even earlier and I didn't want to leave homeboy hanging.

So by the time I get there, there's been some interesting about Tokyo Police Club being held up at the border. I chuckled a bit to myself thinking, "Oh Lord, I know it probably isn't, but please don't tell me it's 4/20 related."

Things were a bit delayed thanks to that minor kerfuffle I suppose, but I couldn't tell if that was it or if it was the usual lateness of the Bowery.

OK, I know the guys in Tokyo Police Club are young, but really, they were totally rubbing it in my face with their opening bands. Really, way to make me feel positively ancient. I get it, I'm too old to be going to shows anymore.

First of all, there was Smoosh. They're cute...and young. Seriously. You know what freaks me out? As young as they seem now, I first heard about them when I was still in COLLEGE. Like what, two years ago? Three years ago? It's crazy. It really makes me feel all existential. Like, what the hell have I been doing with my youth? These kids have accomplished a whole lot more than I did between the ages of 13 and 18.

They're very good on the whole and absolutely sweet, but can we stop to comment on Chloe's drumming? Girl can beat that thing. Anybody who doubts this just need to watch her totally pummel a drum set live for "Find A Way", Jesus, "Promises." At least watch the latter. It's truly amazing. I'd be really interested to see where she heads with her talent. And she totally rocks the drum face.

But I'm jumping out of all kinds of order here. The first opening band was a group of young lads called The Static Jacks.

I had seen them earlier outside. I was so being reminded of my own mortality...or maybe it was the other way around and I was probably depressing them with my own oldness. It's fairly sad when you look around at the crowd you're in at a show and see how young the people look, but it's a whole different kind of sad when you realize the people on stage are getting to be around the same age as you, or even younger for that matter. I felt like I was the tomb in Poussin's "Arcadian Shepherds" and was proclaiming to all the younguns there, "Et in Arcadia ego, my friends, Et in Arcadia ego."

I tried to cheer myself up by trying to make light of the situation, but it all went horribly wrong because it went something like this: "Oh, Lord. How old are these guys? 16? 17? I am sooooo old. What am I doing here? I'm too old for this shit. Haha, however old they are, they are definitely not legal, ha!...Oh, my God. Oh, God. It was a joke. A joke! Oh, God. Chris Hansen is going to arrest me now, isn't he?"

That beer I had for "lunch" didn't seem like such a bad idea anymore.

The Static Jacks pulled off an energetic set. And really, don't let whatever biological age they have fool you, because their musical maturity is pretty impressive. Oooooohhh, see what I did there? Actually, that reads so cheesy. I sound like Gene Shallit. But that's besides the point. I genuinely enjoyed the set. If it's danceable, you'll probably win me over. But these guys weren't just danceable. Just when you thought you'd figured them out, they'd tweak it a bit and kind of throw you off. They had a couple of songs with some fun composition. I don't know, like you think, "Oh, I get it, they got like a garage rock-y type thing going on," or whatever, then all of the sudden they throw "The Waltz" at you.

My favorite picks? Probably "Light Show" and "Northern Bank." They were selling 3-dollar CDs. It's a steal people. With like 4 songs on there, that's not even a dollar per song. Right? Numbers are not my forte. Well, whatever. The point is it was cheap. I do wish it had "Northern Bank" on it though. I'm pretty sure there was another one I liked, but I can't remember off the top of my head which one it was right now.

Tokyo Police Club. What more could I say that I haven't already said before? Hmm, let me think about that for a bit. Noooope.....no, can't really think of anything else. They're fantastic. Really, that's all I have to say. I do have to say they looked like they were having as much fun as everyone in the audience and that's always a plus. OH! The thing with the border. Well, they had some trouble bringing merch in so they decided to go DIY and had t-shirts that they had signed...and shoes. Yes, shoes. Signed shoes. Um, and socks. Hey, you know, whatever works and the gumption is admirable. I would've bought the socks with a little convincing I bet. The socks I could see someone buying, strangely enough, but I wonder if anyone bought the shoes. They looked like a pretty big size.

It was one of those shows where you're way more invigorated afterwards having been there because the fun of it sort of shoots you with adrenaline. So great job everyone who played last night.

(Seemingly) Stoned people love my hair

2008-04-21T02:25:00.003-04:00

A little back story first. So, a couple of weeks ago I was hanging out in a bar in the Lower East Side with some folks. I'd been wearing my hair au natural for a while now. The curls are their springiest directly after a washing. This particular day I had combed out my hair in the morning with the intention of washing it to get it back to its plump spiral curls phase, but over the course of doing random errands in the morning I realized that if I wash my hair when I was about to, it wouldn't dry by the time I was going out to meet people and I'd end up looking like Lionel Ritchie with my hair being wet and curly, yet flat against my head.

So I while in the bathroom trying to figure out whether to braid it or sweep it up into a bun I comb it out again and see that it's not all that bad. It's still got enough "curl" in it so that it looks more like a messy fro-ish, Diana Ross type thing going on, so I figure, "Eh, fuck it," and leave the house like that and wash it when I get home or the morning after.

Now I was sitting and talking to some folks when a dude walks up to us. He was the usual type you see down there. Tall, thin, in skinny pants, with a leather jacket and a scarf around his neck. I thought maybe he knew someone in our group or was coming to ask us something when I notice he stops right in front of me and says, "Wow...do you mind if I touch your hair?"

I turned to look up at the guy because I thought I'd heard him wrong. "What's that?" I asked. He went on to say, "It's soooo cool. How do you get it to do that?"

"Er, it's just natural like this. All I did was comb it out..."

"Wow, it's just like, like Kimya Dawson's. Do you mind if I touch it?"

I guess I was in a good mood and it didn't hurt that the guy wasn't too hard on the eyes. I guess I'm kind of laid back like that. I thought it was no skin off my back to humor the guy and said sure. I figured he just wanted to run his fingers through it (ha, good luck) or something, but instead he total gets both hands in it and ruffles it. And he's totally loving it.

"This is sooo cool. You need to just keep it like this all the time."

I laugh along and he goes on his way, but for the rest of the evening each time he passed by me he'd give my hair a good fluffing and it was so surreal I couldn't help but laugh because he'd say things like "You really shouldn't like, try to tame it or anything. Just let it go wild." At one point he even had his arms around me and had his hands all up in my hair and I just laughed and laughed.

It was all very amusing. I tell this story because I don't know if he was stoned, but if it's not that he really loves Kimya Dawson's hair, it's probably likely something was going on that made poofy hair so amusing to him.

So fast forward to tonight at the Bowery Ballroom. I was there to see Tokyo Police Club. Alex was there, Kelly couldn't make it (laaaaaaaaaammme). Smoosh was opening. Smoosh stood behind us for the Static Jacks (who put on a good set), and Alex and I tried to help them decipher Asya's astrological signs pendant. Smoosh was adorable and talented as ever (this must be said whenever I mention Smoosh: OMG MINI BASSIST SO DAMN CUTE) and played a great set and did their sweet cover of Bloc Party's "This Modern Love" again.

Anyhow, before we go on, we all know what today is, right? That's right 420. And at intervals during the show it smelled like someone was getting their party on. So today I'd managed to have my big mass of curls going on. It's just big with piles of and piles of black curls just everywhere. I say all this because right before Tokyo Police Club were to come on stage, the crowds pressed in a bit more and people were squeezing in to try and get a better spot. Suddenly, I felt a presence behind me uncomfortably close. Then, a presence in my hair.

I turned around sharply to see some random tiny blonde chick with a beer in her left hand slowly massaging my hair with her right hand. She was shorter than me so she was actually reaching up to do this. She had an odd look on her face as if she was mesmerized by my hair, swaying slightly. I didn't stop her but instead slowly turned to look over to Alex with a look on my face that was pure "What. The. FUCK?"

I stood there awkwardly for a few second staring at Alex in shock until she stopped as suddenly has she had started and continued on her way. I don't know about what was exactly going on in the head of the dude at the bar, but this chick? She had to be stoned or drunk or something. It was utterly ridiculous.

Oh, and Tokyo Police Club was flippin' awesome of course. Too bad Graham was over in the corner and I couldn't see him too well =(, but the songs are so much fun to dance and sing along to. If the show on Tuesday wasn't sold out I would've been tempted to go again.

Help please

2008-03-26T23:58:00.002-04:00

I'm going to Colorado. To a ski resort. I've never skiied or been to a ski resort. I don't know if I'll do much skiing, quite frankly, but part of me thinks, "What if?". But I don't know what I have to pack. I have no idea at all. Should I buy cheap ski/snow pants? They might have rental, but I doubt the pants parts are rentable. Should I just buy when I get there? I have no idea what I'm doing and I'm leaving in like three days. Please help if you have some sort of expertise in this situation.

I'll take one, please

2008-03-26T22:54:00.002-04:00

To go, thank you very much.

Eeeee, seriously, Snake Eyes was the first "crush" I ever had. I was a mere tyke, but I wanted to marry Snake Eyes. This costume looks good. I haven't really been looking forward to the GI Joe movie like Iron Man. But I'll just say they better not have Snake Eyes talk. That'll ruin everything. =(

I must be getting old

2008-03-21T23:19:00.002-04:00

All I did was relax with some delicious penne alla vodka I made from scratch, and had a "dessert" of Fage yogurt with honey and a banana. I'm even about to go to bed in the next hour or so and I am perfectly OK with this. Thank goodness I do shit on the weekdays. That's right, weekends are for relaxing. That's what I should keep in mind.

Tuesday night

2008-03-11T22:26:00.004-04:00

Tired, and frustrated and annoyed about things not going well, so dinner=banana split and dessert=beer.

One of the good things about living alone is you can spend an evening in drinking and singing along to Lenny Williams (sssh, I don't want to hear it. This song is sublime) and there's no one around to tell you how weird and sad that is.

Continued comic book geekery

2008-03-02T14:42:00.003-05:00

For anybody keeping track of the new trailers coming out for Iron Man, how can you not be fucking EXCITED? I don't know if I was ever an Iron Man fan. I do know I was a Tony Stark fan, but even as someone who hasn't been great at keeping up with how comics went, as someone whose understanding of the American comic universe is very dated and fragmented, this shit is fucking exciting to me. It's not just a comic book movie that looks decent, it fucking looks GOOD. I feel like I told this story here before, how when I first heard that they were making an Iron Man movie my reaction was basically "Oh, how are they gonna cock up this one?" but then someone said "Robert Downey Jr. is playing Tony Stark." My initial reaction was, "Wha-??" Not that I don't think Robert Downey Jr. is a talented actor, but it just didn't compute in my head in the first second I was reacting, but then even before my brain could finish saying what it backpedaled, switched gears and a lightbulb went off as it went, "Oh...my...God...THAT'S GENIUS!"

The more I keep up with this the more I'm excited. Avengers possibility? Cameos? Jesus. This is how comic book movies should've been treated.

WOOOOO!!! Comic books!!!!!

2008-03-01T23:48:00.003-05:00

I started reading some comics I had bought in Korea that my mom still had with her (I hauled them here in my suitcase). I didn't buy a whole lot of comics while I was in Korea thanks to comic book libraries where you could borrow them for a fee, and I wish I'd invested a bit more in them. I only have the entire series of "Psychometre Eiji" and "Island." I don't have more because this was pretty close to before I was leaving the country and I had intention to buy more after these two, but got caught up in a bunch of other things that kept me from pursuing further purchases. Also I was more interested in buying things that were a complete series. So the combination made for my comic book purchase shortcomings. I love digging into Psychometre Eiji though, because it's totally taking me back to lazy weekends/holidays when I'd borrow a stack of 6-8 comics and just lay on my stomach on the floor and read them all day with some snacks within reach. I remember making the excuse of borrowing all the scary comics during the summer and how Ito Junji terrorized me for one summer break and I could barely bring myself to take a shower for fear someone was in our shower system crawling around in the pipes with their horrible collapsed skeletal structure. I'm sort of planning for how when I visit Korea in the near future I'm going to pack lightly in a suitcase and carry with me a second suitcase dedicated just for comic books.

Also, Marc let me root through his intense stash of comic books today and I brought back a huge haul of American comics. I'm going to be reading comics for weeks!!!!! (Well, more like I'll go through them all in 2 weeks)

Speaking of comics, I finally got around to reading Kang Do-Ha's (mentioned previously here and here "Kubrick" today, and man is it intense. Daum was giving me some trouble so I had to stop reading with 6 episodes remaining in the series, but really, the man is good at what he does. I'm going to back and read "Romance Killer" and see if I can create some kind of impressions/opinions type of thing in his whole "Youth Romance Trilogy."

Random worry that stops my cold in my tracks before I go to sleep

2008-02-28T00:46:00.003-05:00

"Oh, shit, I hope I didn't cook that pudding too long before stuffing it in the fridge and it ends up being super chewy and tough. It kind of set up pretty quickly as soon as I took it off the stove to cool down. Great, I bet I made rubbery bittersweet chocolate pudding. Oh, well. Hmm, it's gonna snow this weekend. I should make something hearty and comforty...gnocchi or lasagne? Mmmm, gnocchi in gorgonzola sauce with porcini mushrooms. But, I *do* want to bake before it gets too hot to turn this oven on. Geez, and I don't even know which lasagne I'd go with either. Can I get away with making both? Just freeze a bunch of it for lunches? Oh, dear."

You know, not like, say, suffering in the world.

I need to go karaoke

2008-02-22T22:49:00.002-05:00

I've had "Dancing in the Moonlight" stuck in my head for the past couple of days and I feel like the only way to get rid of it is to karaoke it out. If I owned a damn Rhodes piano I could at least play the shit out of it until it left my brain. Hey, it worked when I'd get "Open Arms" stuck in my head back in the day. I'd just play it on the piano.

Back in the land of the living

2008-02-20T18:57:00.003-05:00

or On missing Chicago and mothers who lived in a household with video game playing kids

Being incredibly horribly sick and stuck indoors in horrible weather (not that there was a whole lot to do anyway) for most of my "vacation" was made up for when one evening my mom bent over to pick some article of clothing off the floor and as she stood up, saying to herself, "Hadoken!" I wish I could've recorded the moment for posterity.

Not so cool? Having the same mom show you a pile of baby clothes she crocheted, "For when you have a baby."

Flying to see my family, I had to make a pit stop at O'Hare. Originally, I was
Denver-bound for the first leg of my trip, but bad weather and the general ridiculousness of LaGuardia had other plans for me.

As I looked out across the expanse of the Chicagoland area, the orange of the LPS stood out more against the snow-covered ground, I noticed it seemed to spill out into the horizon, only to end in an ominous jaundiced blazing fuzz against the night sky. As if the that was the edge of the world where all of creation was pushed into a fiery pit.

"Some say the world will end in fire, Some say in ice..."

From what I’ve seen that night, it ends in a sodium vapor haze of an urban sprawl.

The plane began its descent and thick white snowfall rose up to meet us and I realized more than anything I missed Chicago for its snow and it's winter-like winters. I had just started reading Pamuk's "Snow" and I found myself contemplating the silence of snow just like Ka. The nights I'd be up late working furiously, chased by deadlines, only to realize it was much to quiet. I'd draw the curtains to see that a heavy snowfall had begun. Or the times I'd wake up to a silent morning only to find the morning outside muffled by a blanket of white. No matter what the day promised to bring or whatever new assignments or worries had me up late I found myself taking a few quiet moments to stare at the falling snow or the snow on the ground.

That used to be real nice. Nowadays snow just seems like a nice treat that might happen if winter feels like it.

On the way back I found myself in O'Hare again. I had a "Chicago-style" hot dog to make up for the fact that I was merely passing through the city on a 1-2 hour basis. I tried to snag a picture of the familiar color-lighted walkway between Concourse B and C. A seeming neon apocalypse of the conflagration that begot the sodium vapor eschaton that swallowed the horizons at night.

While at night the world ended in fire, during the day it ended in ice. The daytime flight homeward found us gliding towards the blue expanse of Lake Michigan. As the lake went on the deep blue began to became part of the wall of deep purple and blue that was the sky. As the two seemed to melt together a scattering of clouds looked almost like snowcapped mountains it it seemed as if the east of Chicago was walled in by a gargantuan mountain range that exited before time and we were flying right into it.

I sighed since Chicago might as well have been The Blazing World and I was flying through over and through an icy mountain portal only available through the North Pole on my way back "home." Since I had left there, my first visit back consisted simply of layovers. It seemed even more ridiculous when I considered what I missed most were things like snow and winter and I knew it would be a while for me to ever go back considering my irrational fear of living too long in the same place. So that's just one more place for me to add to my list of places that I can call home but never will.

...Man, now this just makes me want to listen to "Out of Reach" by The Get Up Kids. That stupid proto-emoness tries to sneak in no matter how old I get. However it just seems like instead of having that "our song" about past human love interests I feel that way about geographical love interests.

Going to see the fams

2008-02-13T02:24:00.000-05:00

Long story. Anyway, will be gone for a week.

Photos from a Holga

2008-02-10T23:22:00.001-05:00

I finally picked up the pictures I got developed from my Holga. I'm gonna start trying to upload those into my Flickr account under a collection just for the Holga photos.

Some highlights:

What happens when you don't keep up with chan shit

2008-02-10T20:14:00.000-05:00

And rightfully you probably shouldn't, but I'm annoyed I missed out on the raid today and I was planning to join in on this. By the time I realized it was today I was still wrestling with work stuff so I gave up on heading down there. Anyhow, I hear there's another date in the works, so I plan on heading out to it.

Oh. My. God. Yes.

2008-02-09T15:10:00.000-05:00

Yes.

Finally. FINALLY. Fiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiinaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaalllllllllyyyyyyyyyy. Ah hahahhahahahahhahahahahahah!

So that's why useful things have no room in my brain

2008-02-06T23:23:00.000-05:00

I was talking to Steve today and he mentioned how he was taking body massage classes (LAME), and as we talked about it, it made me think about the redubbed GI Joe PSA. You know, the one with the kids, and the live wire in the road? "Oooh...mmm...mmmmm...Mr. Body Massage Machine....GO." Yea, yea. I know old hat.

I was relaying this to Steve but I couldn't remember the name of the specific Joe in this PSA off the top of my head. Then all of the sudden my brain nudged in with, "Ahem, I think you mean Roadblock."

I sort of snorted and went, "Oh my God, brain. Don't even act like you know which GI Joe that was. Like you know. Please."

But then it kept nagging at me so I Googled it...and guess what, my brain was right. Why do I even know this? I should know this. Jesus.

Artists need some kind of Myspace

2008-01-29T21:15:00.000-05:00

Or you know, like a gig tracker...but for artists? Recent frustrations in trying to find out artists' exhibits has been annoying me. I mean, there's gotta be a way right? Besides the usual, like paying attention to what exhibits are at museums, what about people who have shows at galleries? Maybe you have to be like...in the know or know the artist or something...

My mom's memories

2008-01-28T23:08:00.001-05:00

I like making my mom talk about stuff from when she was young. I feel like I need to buy a voice recorder and just have her talk so I can remember all the stuff she tells me. Maybe I'll get to do that since family issues has me going back home in a bit.

My mom has three phantom siblings. Her oldest brother, the genius, who could read all the Chinese characters on the drawers of their elder uncle's Chinese medicine shop. He died at the age of 7 from a bee sting. There was the older brother born between my surviving uncle and herself who died of pneumonia while the family was on the run during the Korean War. This left a nine-year gap between her and my uncle. Then there was her younger sister Haesun, who died at the age of five when my mother was seven.

Being the first daughter in a long while, my mother was spoiled. Even her notoriously gruff and hot-tempered elder aunt loved her the most because she had only one child and the child was a boy. Her elder aunt is a story all her own. While my mother's family was a historical family (My mom's branch of that particular last name has it's own Wikipedia entry! I found this out recently by accident.) and her elder uncle a renowned Chinese-style physician, having even studied abroad in China, his slightly withered left hand made him undesirable as a husband. My elder aunt was brought as a bride in waiting. Young girls brought in at a young age and raised by her future husband's family until she comes of marriageable age. She came to the house at 13 and had a son at the age of 18. She was strong as an ox with a loud voice who scared even the shaman she'd invite for 'gut' ceremonies with her own raucous voice and dancing. My grandmother, a born-again Christian, bumped heads with my mother's elder aunt a lot. When my grandmother would show up at the house during a ceremony, my elder aunt would tell her to go away because "You Jesus lovers bring bad luck." In turn my mom forbade my mother from participating in any shaman or Buddhist practices. When my mother's elder aunt took her to visit the temple where the woman who refused to marry any man other than my grandfather went to become a monk, my mother would run away when asked to bow and pray. She'd tauntingly stay out of reach declaring to her frustrated elder aunt, "My mom told me not to!"

My mom admits she was a bratty and ill-manner kid. She'd start fights and rip at the hair of her more than 20-years-older-than-her "Big Brother" (her elder uncle's only child). When all the children bowed for the Lunar New Year to get money from the adults, she refused to do it and would throw a temper tantrum and would get her allowance later on anyway.

"Why didn't you just do it?" I asked.

"It was embarrassing," she said. "Here I was this unruly tomboy, and the way girls had to bow all wilting and delicate...I had a reputation as a hellion to uphold."

My mother told me how when Haesun died, in her own twisted kid logic she thought to herself, "I'm the only girl again! Everyone will pay attention to me!"

However, as the years went by she missed her little sister more and more. And in middle school, she started wondering where Haesun was buried. She learned that her little sister was buried in a small cemetery behind her school she was haunted for a while by the thought and hope that Haesun wasn't really dead. That she'd just gone away for a while and was coming back.

"I kept thinking that one day, I'd come home and open the door, and she'd be waiting for me. Or one day I'd turn a corner and there she'd be."

My grandmother almost went mad after the death of Haesun and that's when she converted.. My mom remembers how she could her my late at night grandmother sobbing as she'd sing hymns to herself and my mom said it repulsed her.

"I thought my mother really had gone mad."

But my grandmother was famous for being a patient and kind woman. A small, slip of a woman with pale skin, she was intelligent and strong but kind and quiet. To this day my mother's friends remember my grandmother fondly as a saint.

My mom has three phantom siblings but one older brother. Growing up he was the smart one, the nice one. He had his poetry published and went on to own a publishing company. My mom wasn't the bad one, but she was the loud one. The ill-tempered one. The troublemaker. After my grandparents passed away, my mother resented him for marrying my aunt and my uncle disowned her for marrying my dad. They spent awkward years of silence punctuated by rare strained phone calls. My uncle told people who asked about my mom that she was dead. It took my uncle's financial ruin and brain aneurysm to bring them back together. The first time I saw my uncle was when I was 15 through the car window as I sat in the backseat waiting for him and my mom to talk about the situation (before the stress of being swindled and facing legal repercussions though he had committed no crime lead to his brain aneurysm).

They're talking again now, but I feel sad for the years they spent not talking to each other at all.

There's plenty of other stories, and talking to my mom sometimes it's like a ball of yarn that keeps unraveling. Indeed, must invest in a voice recorder.

Yesterday was a good day. I didn't even have to use my AK.

2008-01-27T11:45:00.000-05:00

I had dim sum with Helen at Jing Fong. That's always fun, chasing down the ladies with the carts and trying to talk to them about what the unidentifiable food item in the basket is, then biting into said unidentifiable food item.

We tried out Red Mango and tried to come up with a compare/contrast for it.

I found the awesomest shoes (mine are actually more of a pastel aquamarine or pale turquoise) at Urban for ONLY 19.99. Seriously, Urban Outfitters can get on my last damn nerve about a lot of things, but I swear to God I've been awesomely cheap shoes there so many times, it more than makes up for it.

I had an awesome time watching "Persepolis" with someone.

All in all, a day well spent.

Last bit for the evening, I promise.

2008-01-24T23:56:00.001-05:00

But, OH MY GOD, will the Newseum open already??? I can't believe this. Sure it'll open in 2008, it says, but SERIOUSLY? I really want to go and I wish it'd hurry up and open while I still new people down in DC I could crash with so I can make a weekend of it and like...like...look at ALL the museums or something. Like spend a whole weekend just living in the museums. OPEN ALREADY!!!

Mystery music clip

2008-01-24T20:51:00.000-05:00

There's a 23-second-long clip of a song I have had since college and I don't know who or what it is. I desperately want to hear it in its entirety and it's driving me nuts. The worst part is entirely instrumental (so no lyrics to plug into Google). The only identifying information is that the file is called "subway." That really doesn't help. It's been driving me insane for years and I wish I could figure it out and listen to the whole song. Someone please help. I'll even send you the clip.

I watched Cloverfield

2008-01-23T23:49:00.000-05:00

Yes, yes, spoiler alert if you didn't watch it and all that. Let me just get on to talking about it.

I finally saw it this past weekend. I was warned by Lucy that she had motion sickness after the end of it. Being the type of person who is generally immune to motion sickness I wasn't that worried, but about 20 minutes into the movie, even I was pretty happy that I had not eaten breakfast.

The worst part was, thanks to my wonky right eye that has exponentially worse eyesight compared to the left, I was also starting to get mild eyestrain that felt like someone was mildly tugging at my optic nerves. I had to close my eyes a couple of times and do a little massage over the eyelid to try and relieve the pressure.

Overall opinion. I liked it. It was a decent monster movie. They were true (for the most part) to the aesthetic that they wanted. I think I couldn't really join in on the backlash since I didn't pay attention much to the intial hype anyway. I thought they set out on doing what they wanted to do and did it. And it was pretty fun except for the feeling barfy with an eyeball about to fall out of an eye socket.

Truth be told I saw some of the monster design sketches that leaked out to the net...My first thought was "I hope that's not it," because I was still mildly hoping that the theory that it was about Cthulhu coming to earth heralding the coming of the Elder Gods was just so attractive.

Anyhow, I was mildly hoping it wasn't going to be just a monster movie for some reason, but I wasn't really disappointed. But things that did irk me:

The plot device of the guy going back for the girl. Stupid. No, really. Like try to give it some compelling back story, that he'd been in love with her "forever" and they'd been good friends forever, but quite honestly. No. Did not work for me. It would've made way more sense for me if they had been newlyweds or newly engaged or something. The idea of him going after a beautiful rich girl (living in flippin' Columbus Circle. Gag me with a spoon), was just so utterly annoying. And it just made no compelling sense for his other friends to follow him to their tragic deaths. All it did was make the main love interests very unattractive and you did not want to care for them. Annoying, young, prissy New Yorkers tarted up with a thin veneer of humanity because "omg~ he lurrrrrrrrrrrrrved her." Bitch, please. You know I just think it was bad writing really. This "she was my best friend, I loved her forever, and we finally slept together but now she's seeing some other guy?" thing could've been handled differently as well I suppose. But how it was done in this particular incarnation? Ugh. It wasn't enough to make me hate the movie, but there were definitely times I just wanted to punch everyone the main guy and the rich girl in the face.

Also, I was disappointed we stayed with one point of view like that. I was sort of hoping at the beginning when you had the two different videos, before I learned it was just the main guy's brother, that it would be a sort of "Where were you when the monster and his body lice attacked?" type of thing.

Really awesome? When the gang first runs into the army. That scene was amazing. In fact, I thought the confrontation scenes with the creature and the military were some stunning pieces of special effects.

Oh speaking of body lice. Yes, I buy that it's body lice. I think that's way more compelling than seeing the little things were the creatures babies. I mean come on. Do we ever *really* think about the implications of a monster creature attacking? It's a wild animal thing. It's nasty. It's not just walking around eating and breaking shit, there's gotta be some other consequences like, oh yea, it's got parasites, pathogens we've never dealt with before because we've never dealt with anything like this before.

Overall, I liked it, and it was fun. A new way of looking at the traditional monster flick.

I need more days like today

2008-01-13T23:08:00.001-05:00

After a veritable sleep glutton and lazy ass bastard I've been the past couple of weekends I had the first weekend without something hanging over my head so I decided to actually wake up in the morning and do something with the weekend. On Saturday I got up, made breakfast, ran some quick errands then went to a knitting party.

Today I got up bright and early at an amazing 10 am and woke up, Katya (my new Holga camera. I name things.), to come on a walk with me. I bought myself a nice brunch (a BANGIN' banana cream cheese-stuffed french toast) and a delicious passionfruit mimosa. As I sipped at the mimosa I realized, "Wow, the world does stuff before noon on weekends..."

As I took Katya about her paces, I saw some things, and for once I actually paused and enjoyed what I was looking at. It was nice. I need more Sundays like today's. I think I'll make it a point to do it every Sunday or at least do it twice a month or something. And now that I have a Holga I can really explore or something.

Ha, another ad that I love

2008-01-13T21:01:00.000-05:00

People sometimes see that I'm up at around 3 am on Sunday evenings/Monday morning and ask me, "What the hell are you doing up??"

I answer, "If I go to sleep, it's going to be Monday."

"Yea..." they say. "That's kind of what I mean. Don't you want a good night sleep before Monday?"

Then I explode into a rant: "No...n...NO! What the hell? Hell, no! That's the point. If you sleep, that's more time spent unconscious and THAT means Monday comes faster because you're not up enough for Sunday night. I'm pushing Monday back! I'm holding it at bay! I'm going to milk the last few hours as much as I can! The last thing I need is to fall asleep then after what feels like 5 minutes open my eyes to daylight and get ready for work. No! I'm not going down like that!"

Some people don't get this, so finally, a visual representation:

The foundation to keep aging Hong Kong actors from making fools out of themselves

2008-01-10T23:06:00.000-05:00

...wait, seriously? Dragonball? THE MOVIE?...no, really, you're joking right? Oh, hell no...

You know what? I honestly gave up a long time ago. Hollywood will continue to make fucking shitastic adaptations of things that have no right being adapted into movies, but you know what? I can deal with it. It's not my duty to stop them or anything. But seriously? WTF CHOW YUN FAT?

No, I seriously need to ask Chow Yun Fat "What the fuck, man?" Homeboy was my hero.

Oh my God, one of my most formative moments in childhood was watching "A Better Tomorrow II" and the final shootout scene where the shoot a house full of baddies THE FUCK UP, but then they all got shot and injured. The cops are closing in on them, so they just kinda go "Aw, fuck it" and wait for the cops to get them as their bleeding. That moment, with the three of them sitting in chairs in that carnage calmly awaiting their fate like it was ain't no thang...I cried. I did people. That shit was fucking epic. I was practically pumping my fists going, "FUCK YES! Some punks start some shit your homeboys? You fucking take them OUT, son. No matter WHAT!" I'm such a damn sucker for that whole brotherhood and loyalty stuff. It's pathetic to watch me blubbering while watching something like "Band of Brothers."

(skip to around 6:11 to see the verklempt-inducing moment I'm talking about, but try to watch it in it's entirety to get that build up)

(and in case you're curious about the body count in that final shootout)

Why does he keep doing this? I really don't get it. It just makes me so damn sad seeing these legends humiliating themselves in these endeavors to break it big in the States or something. And you know what's even worse? That in the end all the Rush Hours and Romeo Must Dies and Bulletproof Monks just make them laughing stocks. I mean, let's just say it. They must being doing it for the money, right? If they are that's totally fucking OK. Really. In fact, I'm so OK with it, I want to start a nonprofit. I want to get some money rolling in so we can pay Jet Li and Jackie Chan to just stop. STOP.

"Hi...this is 'Dragonball.' It's a movie that is coming out soon. Do you recognize this face? This is Chow Yun Fat. Him, and many others like him, are making really bad American movies.'Well, what can I do?' you might ask. You can do a lot, for just a little. For just the price of one coffee a day, you can keep a respectable aging Hong Kong actor from tarnishing his legacy. Start giving today and you will receive a letter and a picture from your adopted actor...please help, there are only so many licenses that can be shit on..."

And it's not like I'm all "ohnooooooooo Dragonball is SAAAAAAAAAAAACRREED!" No, fuck that, I fucking hate Dragonball. They played that shit into the ground when I was a kid and still show reruns. I escaped to America to get away from it only to find they show it here ALL THE TIME too. I'm sorry. I'm not poo-poo-ing Akira Toriyama's contributions to the world of manga/anime/video games, but fuck Dragonball. Also I really really don't know how a good movie is supposed to be made from this, no matter who's involved. Not because I hate it, but it's just too much going on at once. Sure Stephen Chow's a producer and that man can do no wrong, and if ANYTHING, he can make it possible, but this isn't a Steven Chow movie. He's a producer. Maybe he'll have some creative say in it, but he's not the writer or the director. And if this was a full-on Dragonball adaptation Steven Chow style, with his crew, I would actually look a little forward to it. I'd imagine it'd be a bit like his film actually based on "Journey to the West," which is funny since the character of Son Goku is reference to the Monkey King.

You know what's even more amazing? Scanning through to see who else is in this. One of them is Joon Park. Why do I point this out? Because the man is also in yet ANOTHER ridiculous movie adaptation (not that I'm not going to watch it, it looks awesomely bad), "Speed Racer." Well, more like a brief appearance. "Speed Racer" has RAIN in it too. What the hell? Is it, "Get Korean popstars to star in ridiculous American movies" year? I didn't get the memo. I feel a little left out.

I mean you, know Rain, even Colbert did that whole bit about him. He's kinda like the Korean Usher?

Joon Park was a member of the Korean boyband G.O.D.

Eh, I'm not trying to hate. Good on them if they got their break with this. Just, just...thought it was interesting.

Why I'm not a fashion editor

2008-01-09T17:55:00.000-05:00

Those of you who know me, know that I love colored tights. LOOOOVE. Maybe you don't know that. I don't own a whole lot, but always have a pair around. I couldn't contain myself recently and finally bought the shiny magenta stirrup tights they sell at AA. I just really wanted stirrup tights. I remember how much I hated them as a kid, but then I remember that I actually hated stirrup pants. Those were horrifying. They were basically sweatpants with footholders. Why? Because somebody looked at sweatpants and thought, "You know what? These are just TOO comfortable. Let's add something to make it awkward."? Anyway, I loved them so much I even made a reference to them in something I did for work. Yea.

What's the point? Recently I've been thinking about how else I can wear those tights, and I think I need to buy myself a pair of dayglo Nikes, some gold bamboo earring and maybe one of those hats I see dudes sell on the side of the streets with their own graffiti-type designs on them. Yea, seriously. I wish I was joking. Well, actually, I don't know, I think I really do want some fly dayglo Nikes. Maybe I can steal one of my brother's Air Force Ones if he's still got them.

Late night/Early morning impulse buy

2008-01-06T05:01:00.001-05:00

Oh, Lord. I can't believe I'm still awake.

So, after being beseiged by lomography this, lomography that, I went ahead and bought myself a Holga. I initially wanted a Diana+, but based on advice, decided to go with the Holga. An I don't know, it seemed like a better deal and would do what I wanted. The particular model I purchased comes with a built in flash and color filters and I really like the color filters aspect of some photographs.

I don't know, I used to be pretty happy about my digital camera, it seemed like a good a good idea. I could take a million pictures and not have to worry so much about processing it into real photos. In fact, I don't remember ever processing any of the photos I took with my digital camera. For preserving memories, it's pretty good as is. But the initial reason why I wanted to be able to take a million photos with abandon, without having to worry about buying film or processing it was because I wanted to be able to develop my ability to take some photos.

I mean, I think part of me is used to pointing and clicking enough to take careful photos now. Like I can fearlessly take pictures and can take them in a prolific manner. However, the funny thing is somewhere along the line of pointing and clicking hundreds of picture I kind of lost my sense of seeing what I was actually taking photos of. There's a lot more gut reaction of "Oh hey! Look at that! *click!*" rather than a "Oh hey! Look at that! *think, lineup, click*" and as of late I'm starting to worry that I'm beginning to lose even the "Oh hey! Look at that!" sentiment to begin with. I took a lot more pictures when I first had my digital camera, dragging it to every show, keeping it in my bag, just in case. Nowadays I forget it at home and I've started to think of it as a hassle to tote to shows.

I also used to be good about going to my favorite places to take pictures of them. That library that I love with the spiraling staircase that goes up a tower, the steampunk-ish subway stop...interesting structures and buildings used to catch my eye a lot, but not so much anymore.

We'll see what happens when I get a hold of the new camera in the next couple of days. I'm also very interested in film. I'm especially impressed with what I've seen of the Fuji Provia. I've seen some photos taken with it, and I have to say I've fallen quite in love with the color and saturation of them.

A part of me knows it's just another phase on what I've started to call my "ongoing mission to collect as many unnecessary skills as possible." And not to like, become good at them or something, just to know how to do it. It doesn't even have to be a skill. I'm a sucker for crap you put together. My favorite purchase from London? A paper Elizabethan Theatre. It's kind of ridiculous actually. I always have an itch to try and do something that involves some sort of making/creating in them. Whether it's my continuing farce in trying to be some kind of drawing artist of sorts, knitting, there was also a clay sculpting phase...the sad thing is my mom commented on this exact "hobby" of mine just yesterday. Oh God, and my resin model phase back in the day? I only completed one mind you. And it was very badly done as well. My mom had no idea what I was working on and walked in on me carving out miniature girl limbs and body parts and with equal parts amused and disturbed said with a sigh, "Look, I don't care what you do, just please don't let anyone see you like this. You look like one of those otaku pervs."

Anyhow, let's see what I can do with this Holga. It'll be interesting.

(Yes, yes, I'm working on the Les Savy Fav entry. It's not that easy weaving a tale, let alone recapping an evening when it took place between the hours of 2am and 7am OK? I'm getting exhausted all over again just thinking about it.)

I am sore and fucking cranky

2008-01-02T13:48:00.000-05:00

or "Not the way to start a New Year after all my fancy talk of being better, but really, fuck it"

Sore because of partying hard on New Year's? Well, I did party hard in the sense that I went to see Les Savy Fav (post on that to come). However, much of this soreness is a recent issue, since last night, my chair from Ikea tried to kill me.

It had been holding up OK since I first bought it about a year and a half ago, but for weeks now bolts and nuts and shit have been falling out of it. I'd replace them here and there, but obviously, the thing was not meant for this world long. Last night while relaxing before having to go to bed to get ready for what would be a hectic work week, I leaned back in my chair. One second I was stretching luxuriously and the next I was a confusing jumble of frightening sounds and sights, and then I found myself on my back on the floor. The back had broken off. I'm still not sure how or why this happened since I didn't check the back too closely to see what kind of damage had been done, but I'm sure it's another case of a loose screw. I had luckily landed more on my back rather than thudding my head against the floor, and I also narrowly missed impaling myself in an attaching section of the back of the chair. I ring in the new year with danger!

Also, passive aggresive note to my neighbors: I don't know about you, but with the stress of things I was expected to do this week and all that, I had a very fretful 3 hours of sleep last night. I found myself barely falling asleep only to be woken up abruptly but the tiniest sound. The last hour of my sleep I spent in a weird half sleep half awake state. So, what I want to know is, who was the asshole that decided he just NEEDED to get on the roof at 5 am, then again thirty minutes later, setting off the roof alarm. You know, I'm not going to unfairly blame my neighbors, it could've been some asshole who got into the building, but seriously, I don't know if you were a crackhead or a potential thief wanting to shimmy down the fire escape, but some people have to go back to work.

Also, to the lady who had her kids out in the hall just fucking whining and whining this morning: Yea, I know it was 8:30 am and I don't know, maybe you were thinking, "Hey, if people aren't awake already, they should be since they should be going to work." Yea, fuck you. I was waking up yes, but as much as I enjoy waking up to an alarm that I developed a Pavlovian cringe and cold sweat response to, surprisingly having your kids fucking whining right outside my door really comes nowhere near in the top five ways for me to wake up. And you just let them whine and whine for at least 15 minutes. Were you taking them to school or to the bus stop? Then what the fuck were they doing out in the hallways wandering around whining and shit? Did you just throw them outside the door and ask them to wait for you while you gave yourself 15 minutes of peace or something? Yea, I heard you lean out the door and tell them to be quiet or some shit. Really? That's what you'd rather do? That's like hitting the snooze button on your alarm 4-5 times. You just feel like you keep waking up to an eternal nightmare that just happens to be your damn kids. Is this what was happening in your brain?

"*whiiiiinnneee*"
[opens door] "Quiet down. Maybe if I close this door on you one more time, you little mistakes would go away."[closes door]
"*whiiiiinnnnne*"
[opens door] "Fuck, they're still here."

Because you know, you could've just, I don't know, taken them to the bus already or something and you could've come home to a quiet house sooner rather than later. You obviously don't want to deal with your whiny ass kids, why do you think the whole floor wants to?

Happy New Year Everyone

2007-12-31T23:42:00.000-05:00

Do I have any resolutions. Nah, I haven't really done resolutions for a long time. I feel that if I'm not the type of person to change something about me throughout the year some arbitrary recognition of the passage of time surely won't make me do it. It might work for some, but just saying "Oh wow, now it's another year, maybe I really should start/stop doing this," isn't much of a motivating factor for me.

On the other hand, I don't know, I have New Year's wishes. How Korean of me, right? I don't know, it makes more sense to me than a resolution. Because basically that's what resolutions are anyways. Wishes. You wish you were thinner or you wish you were more organized so you couch it in this sort of self-help talk of resolving to change that about yourself. Sure more proactive I guess to say you're going to something, but I always felt the Korean way of watching the sun rise and making your wish was more...reflective I suppose. To sit there by yourself, or with friends and loved ones and to quietly watch the sun and go over what you wish for in the coming year you get to examine what kind of person you've been in the previous and what kind of person or things you want in the new year and in that moment you actually have the ability to meditate on what you are desiring.

If I get to see the sun rise this morning I'll be sure to make my wishes against the sun. So here's what I wish for.

I wish that in the coming year I can be the person who will be able to what is required of them and maybe something above and beyond that. What did I learn myself this past year. A whole lot and not that much at the same time I believe. But I did learn how ineffective it is to dwell on the past about anything. I also learned I'm a lot stronger than I assume myself to be, but I just rarely apply myself to not being a milquetoast pile of wishy-washiness. The real test is do I apply what I learned in 2008. So as the poet of war and love used to say, as rosy-fingered Dawn draws the curtains of the sky that for the most part my only wish is that I may not be a waste of space and resources on this earth, as I have felt many times in my life. May that feeling not ever creep up on me again. That the chances and opportunities given to me won't pass me by without appreciation and while I may not change the world at least I hope to find myself changed by i in ways that are good. My wish is simple and like the lyrics from the song "Utilities":

"...
I just wish I were a toothbrush or a solder gun;
make me something somebody can use.
...
Guess our wishes don't do dishes or brake repairs;
make them something somebody can use.
...
Got more faults than the state of California,
and the heart is a badly built bridge.
Seems the most I have to offer doesn't offer much;
make it something somebody can use.
Make this something somebody can use."

My favorite commercial

2007-12-31T16:17:00.001-05:00

It's been my favorite for a while, but I just caught on TV again so here goes. I'm talking about the McDonald's ad that's featuring the apple dippers as a healthy Happy Meal choice. Sounds boring? It's not boring when you realize some genius at McDonald's decided to use the Cha Cha Slide as inspiration. I mean, you totally get why they'd do it. First off, it's simply a fun way to portray eating the apple dippers...but with minimal effort. The Cha Cha Slide already exists, really all you needed to do was come up with some apple dipping to fit the song and you're set to go. There's nothing else in that ad. No dialogue, just really simple choreography. No crazy effects, just a simple dining room in a house. AND it appeals to parents who know what the hell the Cha Cha Slide is, making an instant memorable impression on the person responsible for taking their kids to McDonald's. And even if the adult doesn't recognize what the ad is referencing, it's still simply a cute ad. Fucking genius. Also, I must say that I have a weak spot for little kids dancing. Especially when they're dressed in old school b-boy gear. Here's the ad as how you see it on tv.

Another thing I love about the ad is the dad's reaction. He's all "That's right, get on with your bad self" and just goes along with it. I don't know why I love that so much, but it adds a little something. So I went on YouTube to see if anyone had uploaded it just because I wanted to see the dad's expression...and I found the long version!

Here's the original for comparison.

Don't go to MoMA on the Saturday before New Year's

2007-12-29T20:38:00.001-05:00

There will be a shitload of people there. A metric shitload. Like goddamn.

I really wanted to check out the Seurat exhibit. They had a bunch of drawings by the man. While I was familiar with his pointillism paintings the few drawings I saw were compelling enough for me to go check it out.

And I must say, I really do enjoy is crayon/charcoal work a whole lot more. I personally like charcoal, but that wasn't the only reason. Seeing his crayon work on paper, you get a sense of where he's coming from and going with the paintings he did. In fact, they had a couple of studies for paintings such as "A Sunday Afternoon on the Island of La Grande Jatte" side by side for comparison. At the same time I found the crayon work more compelling. It was kind of amazing actually, because it was a very impressionistic minimalist style, mostly shades and blobs, yet he managed to make them very expressive. I especially loved how he created these very dark pieces since a huge chunk of them involved large areas of black crayon, but then there'd be the glow of a face, or some faint outlines that seemed so delicate and almost nonexistent, yet the entire work seemed extremely detailed and alive amidst the gloom. It didn't look depressing or just blah with the sameness of varying shades of gray and black. It somehow managed to be dynamic still.

Got to wander around other parts of the museum as well. I was pleased to see some work that I liked as well as artwork from artists recognized. My museum grazing is a bit weird because I'll walk around the room seeing things from afar in a scanning matter, then only walk up close to look at things that catch my eye. In room I spotted a Gilbert and George sort of sauntered up to it like an old friend and stood in front of a it for bit. Then I turned around and my eyes locked onto a piece by Lisa Yuskavage. It was pretty awesome because I'd been looking around to see if I could find an exhibit for a while but always managed to fail, so needless to say I was a bit excited to see one in person finally. It was large and luminous. Reproductions really do not do it any justice. I always told myself if I were ever to pose nude for an artist, she'd be the only one.

I don't know, I'm not a real art connoiseur, so I have a hard time explaining what it is I like. I think subject matter matters to me, but it's a very subjective, makes sense only to me type of reasoning based mostly on my desire and jealousy in regards to certain skills, techniques and styles, as well as subject matter.

So in my head I started cataloging a list of the artists I like, starting with the first one I can think of. But as I start seeing a pattern, at the same time I find the list spreading out into directions where the lines connecting any of them start to get pretty tenuous. I have yet to somehow intelligently gather the threads into a theory I like. Lisa Yuskavage, Hans Bellmer, Egon Schiele, Audrey Kawasaki, Aubrey Beardsley, Alphonse Mucha, Max Ernst, Albrecht Durer...Joseph Cornell? Henry Darger?? What about comic artists? Takehiko Inoue, for example...and it goes on and on and I then lose my connections to anything entirely. I guess I don't really need to explain my tastes to anyone, but I feel frustrated not being able to intelligently articulate what or why I like about it.

I ended up zooming through "Nausea." It's not a thick book, but I didn't think I'd finish reading it that fast. It made me think of Camus, and then it made me think "Wait, why the hell did I like 'The Plague' more than 'The Stranger'?" I need to reread those.

Luckily, I'm rollin' in reading material. Speaking of rolling in reading material, Josh from The High Strung emailed me a book of his. It was in pdf format so I decided I was going to print the whole thing out since. Now I'm not so sure how I'm going to carry this around to read it. I'm continuously distressed by the idea that I'll drop the whole mess of it and all the pages will be out of order and just everywhere. It probably would've been smarter if I'd just printed out 50 pages at a time for a more manageable size instead of risking devastating page discombobulation. My eagerness to have it in physical form got the better of me. I think I should go separate them into manageable sizes now before I really do drop/trip/scatter the pages.

But before I get into that bit of horror tome, I'm going to need a cleanser of sorts from novels so I've started reading "A History of Christianity: Volume I." Obviously, I won't finish the whole thing, but just to start with a couple of chapters. Another weird thing about me. Interest in church/Christianity development and history. I entirely blame this on a sort of what I call a Stockholm Syndrome created from twelve years of having a religious education. You'd think I'd be all religioned out, but obviously mandatory Bible classes and a library full of books like "Foxe's Book of Martyrs" that were read at an incredibly young age leaves me in a weird position about how I feel about Religion with a capital "R" that I'm still trying to figure out, but also instills an inordinate amount of interest in church history and expression of human faith. I think the latter also stemmed from/grew into (it's a chicken/egg argument) an interest in revolutions and social changes. Even when they fuck the hell up. Because something about the power when people get together and put their belief and strength into it fascinates me. It's not a "oh shit, how cool" response to violent riots, bloody upheavals, or subscription to anyone political view but more a sort of awe in what can be accomplished and transpire and also an inexplicable desire to dissect each domino in the large domino setup of an event and to see what was the finger to push that first domino.

Hmm, well that got a bit long-winded and self-involved. I need to remind myself not to get carried away so much...

Christmas 2007 was...

2007-12-26T22:52:00.000-05:00

I had gotten to used to sleeping in and just crawling into bed and sleeping whenever the past 3 days I had off, so when I finally awoke on Christmas morning I wasn't sure if I wanted heed the siren call of Tom's fantastic company and the promise of other scintillating persons and go out to Greenpoint to chill at his place with other Christmas orphans. Yea, I mentally did slap myself for even contemplating going back to sleep.

In a weird way, this Christmas was the most Christmas-y Christmas I had in a long while. I never actively stayed up and wished people a Merry Christmas, and it'd been a while since I actually spent time with people on Christmas day to just enjoy the company. As I assessed the get together afterwards "Yea, it was really fun. It was kind of like a bunch of Oscar Wilde characters got together to spend Christmas and the conversation was very un-Christmas-like yet somehow it was perfectly a happy holiday get together."

I'm glad I took my camera along. I actually felt weird whipping out a camera, but I just wanted some candid shots. I don't know, it was one of the first times I felt like I spent a honest to goodness normal person Christmas and I kind of wanted to commemorate it because I'm a loser like that. I ended up not taking too many because I felt weird/bad/creepy about it, but I asked myself, "What would the Cobrasnake do?"...That just succeeded in making me feel like even more of a creep.

Photos at Flickr...mostly of Calcifer.

Anyhow, so Christmas this year was:

1. Mulled wine. It was made with Carlo Rossi and it was delicious. Taking a hit off of Lucy's flask of clove liqueur/bitter added a little extra something to it as well. (pictured: what was left of the mulled wine)

2. Fun people to go with the good wine.

3. Watching Sweeney Todd with fun people after having partook of good mulled wine.

3. And Calcifer. O.M.G. A-fucking-dorable cat. It was the first time I'd been formally introduced to the little guy in person, but a picture of him when he was just a kitten sleeping under a book reigned as my desktop for a while. Not to like beat a meme horse, but I seriously wanted to go "om nom nom nom" on his belly. Softest. Belly. EVAH.

4. Folk art rabbit on top of Calcifer. Enough said.

At one point during the evening a song started playing and I thought to myself "Hey, this sounds fam........................wait a second."

I had to ask Tom, "Is that the marching theme from 'Paprika'?" I was extremely relieved to get an affirmative, because, I was mildly worried for a second that I was slowly going insane. He did not help by talking to me in "going crazy in 'Paprika'" gibberish about how the toaster knows all the lyrics and whatnot. Seriously though, that was a damn good animated film...some of Satoshi Kon's best work to date. With a fantastic soundtrack to boot.

But I'm going off track. I wanted to end with a warning to all. Right after finishing "Look Homeward Angel," I immediately picked up "Nausea." Look forward to navel-gazing, existential, self-indulgent wankery. If you're lucky, I might finish this one super quick and pick up something a bit more academic so that you might be spared my prosaic stylings.

Here's the opening sequence from "Paprika," just to tease you a bit more if you have not already seen it and to give you some more music. It's interesting to note how Kon seems to have reused the ethereal skipping motif he used in "Perfect Blue," but in a totally different way.

Happy Holidays for serious

2007-12-25T01:01:00.000-05:00

Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukkah, Happy Kwanzaa and all that. I mean it. Y'all treat each other right and hopefully the new year brings you good things...even the people I dislike. Maybe some good in your life will make you realize what a douche you are and how grateful you should be for things and will help you change your douchebag ways in a Grinch or Ebenezer Scrooge sense. Oh, I'm just joking. Kind of. Sort of. No, but seriously, I do hope everyone has a fantastic holiday season.

A holiday card from me

2007-12-24T02:57:00.000-05:00

Well, this year I didn't want to be a total Scrooge, so I wanted to send out at least some kind of electronic card. I still wanted it to have some kind of personal touch, but how?

I figured, "Why not send a picture card?"

Good idea, but usually those require something like...I don't know...kids, pets...something to show that you're not some 24-year-old single slacker. Yea, I don't have any of those. So I figured you know, why fight it. I'm not ashamed of my life. No, far from it. And you know what, if those cards are just reminders of things I do not have and the fact that other people are living adult lives, with responsibility and commitment, well I'm going make a picture card of something I have that a lot of people still want. It took some commitment and responsibility to wake up at 5 am to go stand in line to get it. AND we've been committed to each other for almost a year. So happy holidays everyone.

Click Here

Oh God....too much Morrissey

2007-12-22T01:36:00.000-05:00

What the hell? I have been listening to an inexcusable amount of Morrissey as of late. Lots of things to be melancholy about maybe? The grey weather? How much I'm paying in rent? The fact that I had to go into work today even though I could've taken a day off because I had work to do? Work I have to do, period? As I explained to Kelly who informed me she did not get why people love Morrissey, "He, speaks to me. He sings my misanthropy." To which she replied, "Yea, that's why I don't like him." Touche.

Can't wait for the Les Savy Fav New Year's show. That's going to be all kinds of fun. I already have a picture of me attempting to lick Mr. Harrington's beard in heavy rotation as my profile picture for this momentous occasion. Part of me thinks, "There were some cool moments at these shows shows, I wonder if I can find some of them online," but then I'm all "No, it's better this way." Seriously, I don't need people seeing me with my face scrunched up screaming along to the lyrics. OR like the last time when I hauled ass to see Les Savy Fav right after a transatlantic plane ride and was tired and almost dehydrated. I asked Tim for some water and he was much obliged to pour it into my mouth. Afterwards I told Kelly, "As cool as that was, that would've looked like some straight up simulated bukkake if anyone had taken a picture of it." Well, it was sort of a hyperbole. It wasn't that bad, and I was just trying to be funny, but nonetheless, it illustrates my point.

I'm still waiting for the picture of me holding up the sign I made for the Gogol Bordello show informing Eugene Hutz that I'd have sex with his mustache to come and haunt me when I decide to run for governor or something. It'd become like some straight up political intrigue drama with Glenn Close starring as me and they try to recover the photo before someone decides to show it at the debates, and the campaign handlers are all screaming "It's already on Flickr! It's now infiltrating Facebook!" "Johnson, who is doing this??" "I don't know, ma'am. But it must be some really fucking, petty douchebag. I mean come on, it's not even OFFENSIVE. It's actually FUNNY."

And on a parting note, I would marry. MARRRY a guy who looks/dresses like Morrissey did in the video for "Suedehead."

I saw 'I am Legend'

2007-12-20T22:00:00.000-05:00

***SPOILERS FOR PEOPLE WHO DID NOT WATCH THE MOVIE OR READ THE BOOK***

So I finally saw it. I remember when first heard that they were making "I am Legend" with Will Smith, my first reaction was, "Oh, hell no." And each time it'd be brought up, my reaction be, "No, I refuse to even acknowledge its existence or watch this." Then I caught sight of the trailer and gradually I got curious enough that when the "coming out in a week" mark hit I knew I was going to be going to the theater to see it.

My initial beef with it was the fact that , first of all, didn't we ALREADY do "I am Legend"? Like several times before? I mean Vincent Price did it. We had Omega Man. Seriously, did we need one more? It's like Richard Matheson and Jack Finney had a bet to see who could get their novel made into a movie the most times or something. And you damn well know I avoided that new one with Nicole Kidman in it like the plague.

Second, and this is a bit more complicated and involves my own feelings intertwined into the book itself. I need to provide background here. IaL is one of my favorite books. Simply based on the fact that it was one of the first books I read when I was younger to just blow my mind. I read it and when I got to the end of it, all I could say was, "...that shit is DEEP." It was a beautiful feeling. I felt so damn smart. I felt like I'd stumbled across some profound literary trope. I mean, nowadays when I think about it, it almost sounds like a stoner moment. I've reread the book a couple of times -- and it remains as one of the most reread books in my "library." It's lost its "whoa" factor, but I reread it nonetheless to at least remember that profound moment in my book reading history so many years ago.

I was a kid into vampires, the macabre, Victorian occult, gothic stories, adored Poe*, and watched random horror odds and ends throughout my childhood. I first learned of IaL in a book I borrowed from a friend that was sort of like a pre-teen version of a mashup of an almanac and the Guinness Book of World Records, except it was all about horror. It was mostly superlative categories, lists and fun facts type of book. I forget exactly how IaL was listed, but I remember after reading the one sentence plot summary my eyes widened slightly and I knew this was something I had to read. I had long forgotten the title and almost forgot about the book's existence when I stumbled across it in a bookstore a couple of years later. It seemed vaguely familiar, and I read the back of it and it all came flooding back. I snatched it up and ran home giddy with anticipation.

While it was the premise of the book that first grabbed my attention, the interaction between the books title and the end of the book is what grabbed me. It was like the first time you watched "Planet of the Apes" and saw see the statue of Liberty and he realizes he was on earth all along? It was like that. Or like that episode of The Twilight Zone? The guy who finally had all the time in the world to read books, but then his glasses break? It was that sort of "gotcha!" type of thing. Wait, scratch that. "Gotcha" isn't exactly it. I mean it's not the type of twist ending you see so much nowadays, but it definitely has that feeling of a bit of surprise. A bit more of a literary surprise if you will.

Anyhow, my point is when I first picked up IaL, I saw the title and thought to myself, "Hmm, I guess he's going to defeat all the vampires and save the world or something. It's triumphant and boastful. A fucking set up is what it is. When I got to the end and and that subtle twist? That he becomes a legend because he's become the monster of the vampire society? I had to actually put the book down and step away from it for a bit. The synapses in my brain fired and I was making all the connections and implications of it all. "Oh shit, yea, so he was a monster to them. Oh shit, what does that suggest then? Oh shit, legends of monsters in society can stem from the one misfit of society? The outsider, the public enemy? Oh shit, it's like when I used to read about werewolves and werewolf folktale origin and they'd talk about how it could've been early cases of clinical lycanthropy or hypertrichosis? Or feral children?" I loved it, because it made me think. I felt like a professor. A mental giant among my peers!

They were willing to relocate the film from a suburb in Southern California to New York City, and they were probably going to make Robert Neville into Will Smith's character from "Independence Day" who punches out one of the infected and says, "Welcome to earth." This awesome counterpoint that Matheson delivered in the original work will get thoroughly ignored. That's why the reaction against the movie was so visceral. Nothing logical whatsoever. They were raping one of my favorite memories!

Anyway, the movie kind of didn't suck. They still gave it that Hollywood feel-good ending, but managed to keep it bittersweet. It wasn't a heroic, guy gets girl and they wander off into the sunset type of ending. It at least managed to try and keep with the spirit of why the whole work should be named "I am Legend" to begin with, but it definitely followed more to the letter of what my initial idea of the book was when I had just read the title and was wondering what kind of story should deserve that sort of name way back when. Neville finds the cure for the disease and he becomes a legend by becoming a hero, not because he becomes a monster.

I remember when I first heard about the movie my gripe was, "I would not be as pissed if they at least just slapped a different title on it; they're going to destroy its implications!" I mean at least "Omega Man" and "The Last Man on Earth" changed their titles. After having actually seen it, it works still and I'm not supremely as supremely annoyed as I had been initially. I didn't hate it, but I'm wary about saying I liked it simply because they kept the original title and to me that's kind of sacred. I'm going to be an irrational snob like that.

Let me just get it out of the way, I had no problem with Will Smith playing the lead role. People freaking the fuck out about it were tripping and had obviously never watched his acting in "Six Degrees of Separation." Besides, he'd sort of cut out a niche for himself as the decent guy who overcomes obstacles.

I personally liked his portrayal of Neville in this incarnation. I thought his nervous breakdown in the video store after the death of Sam was a pretty intense moment that he did very well. And when he talks about the bacon he was meaning to save after his freakout when he's saved and brough back home? Like I said, he did the decent guy making good of a situation thing very well. You kind of believe if anyone could survive being "the last man on earth" it'd have to be someone like Smith who has this sense of humor that kind of shields him in a way from what's going on.

Anyway, one thing I found interesting about the movie that echoed some things in Matheson's IaL: some of the "vampires" had basically created their own society. They now had their way of life. The infected living in hives in the movie sort of showed that. It showed that they had reverted to an animal state, but it showed some semblances of a society. Sort of like in "Last Man on Earth" (note: I own this movie and will probably rewatch it. Hm, I probably should've done that before writing this. It would've made this way more interesting and in-depth. Ah, well. Fuck it.) as well? But I thought it was interesting how they sort of nodded to that "alternative society" a bit when they showed the big, goony infected actually being annoyed that Neville had captured one of their own, as well as how it recreated a trap in the same way Neville did, and even learned to keep dogs. I thought that was an interesting consideration for this particular version of the tale. It was disappointing a bit the movie went in the direction that it did because the first half of it seemed to show that yes, the world indeed was thriving in its own way without humans. Just like the animals roaming New York, without their humanity the infected humans were beginning to create their own way of living. Neville is clearly depicted as the lone outsider in all this. Zooming down the deserted streets in his fancy cars. The fact that he couldn't hunt a single deer with his army training and his gun and lioness snatches one with great ease right in front of him. He's the one who can't seem to adapt.

Speaking of abandoned New York, every review seems to mention this, but the depiction of a New York going back to a wild state was pretty damn good. Also I thought the first half showing life as the only man live was damn good as well. Some people say the latter half was rushed, but really the whole point of IaL was the build up to the end and showing how life might be if there were to be one lonely human trying to survive in a hostile environment. Even in the book I enjoyed the beginning just reading the tedium of Neville's day-to-day life. His barricaded house and his supplies.

You know, I've thought about it before, but maybe it's gotta be a tie to my zombie obsession. The whole survival part of it. It wasn't just a vampire story, and honestly, they were more vampire-like and it was sort of slightly science fiction in a sense. It's...it was like what "28 Days Later" was to the zombie movie genre. More medical explanation, zombie-like monsters rather than actually zombies (not of the "brraaaiins" flesh-eater variety, fast-moving, not reanimated, etc.).

I need to reread that book. The sad thing is I don't have it on me. I think it's with my parents with 90% of my books. Man. I knew that should've been one of the ones I brought with me.

The world hates my fingers

2007-12-18T00:51:00.002-05:00

More weird finger related injuries.....man, well, change of plans. I'll see if these weird finger things stop happening so I can do my Christmas comic. If I do, I won't get to send it to everyone FOR Christmas, but at the last I can have some on hand if anyone wants it.

Random thought: Had some lobster bisque today. Before it even came to the table, I thought, "Something smells shellfishy." It smelled a lot like shrimp crackers.