Friday, August 31, 2007

Kids say the darndest things

I rock and rollicked to the subway's rhythm and closed my eyes and tried to block out the chatter of the little boys sitting next to me as a gaggle of their moms stood in front of me and carried on some inane conversation that was just as equally grating.

It seems that the 6 year old sitting right next to me had been recently given the talk because he was very insistent that his friends knew that "I came from my mom's vagiiiiiiiinaaaaaaaa."

I almost popped my eyes open. I certainly was not expecting to hear vagina enunciated with such gusto. The thing was he really wanted his friends to know this. He would not let up. His buddies looked a little older than him, and maybe they had already got the talk, but they seemed unimpressed and continued talking about other things. Or maybe because of their young age "vagina" just hadn't entertained their brain as such a looming and important entity yet. It's probably still something gross to them.

It didn't end there, because mom had to be reminded of this fact. "Mom, mom, MOM. I came out of your vagiiinnaaa."

The Vagina Kid almost had a mini melt-down a little later because he "really had to pee and I'm going to pee my shoooorrrtts."

I mean it's nice that he was that concerned about pissing his pants as opposed to just peeing all over the place, but wow, this kid was almost losing it telling his mom he had to pee.

You know, I'm usually indifferent to little kids and really it's not like I loathe them or something, but goddamn, sometimes I'm just so goddamn happy I don't have kids.


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