People, it's the holidays for crying out loud

"The Skinny on Holiday Eating." That's seriously a headline on MSN right now. And I'm sure there are plenty of tips floating around about sensible holidy eating.

FUCK THAT. What the hell? Seriously, I never got all this calories-counting, boo-hooing around this time of the year. Isn't that one of the main points of Thanksgiving? Wanton gluttony disguised under the presumptuous misconception of giving thanks for food when in fact the colonists were starving because they were idiots and wholesale ignoring the harm done to the native population?

If we're gonna gloss over all that history with cute pilgrims and indians dollas and turkey tissue paper centerpieces, you can fucking afford to eat until you let out a vital organ.

It's just one goddamn day. No one's saying you have to eat like this everyday. And if you're the type to have been watching your weight and your intake all throughout the year to begin with, is one day really going to fuck you up? And if you're more of the girthy type who can't say no to that second helping, really, is Thanksgiving the day you should be starting to push yourself away from the table? Does this make any sense? Look, just pick one day, Thanksgiving day. Go out balls to the wall, and eat everything you want to it. Even if there are leftovers the next couple of days, maybe you'll be too damn sick to even think about eating. At the most, for letting go one day, how much weight will you gain? If you've eaten enough in one day to gain 5 pounds you should be fucking commended if you aren't dead already.

All I know is, all I had today was pizza and I will continue to not eat solids for the rest of the day and rely on tea so that tomorrow I can eat with full force tomorrow. And to make I'm even planning on watching the turkey-eating contest on Spike to commemorate the whole thing. You know I'm rooting for Kobayashi.