Tuesday, July 28, 2009

Aw geez, I forget if Chicago gets real hot in August...

...though according to the weather folks, the Midwest has been unseasonably cool this summer. Anyhow, I think it's time to check up on the kid bro. I've got a mini lull in August, so going to leap upon that opportunity. Need to make sure he's taking his studies seriously, check out his new place, be all, "Don't smoke in the house, man, unless you want this place to smell like ass. Living with mom and dad should've taught you that shit already. Go outside with a Coke can," give him a little pep talk about life (most probably we'll just sit back and listen to "C.R.E.A.M." 'cause, you know, that song's helped me in times of need), take him out or cook him some real food, maybe give him a little spending money or take him clothes shopping. The usual things you do when you visit a kid in college, ha. The last time I was there I was helping him move into his first dorm/apartment life setup. It seems just like yesterday. Come to think of it, it was kind of hot then too. Shit, when the hell was that?

Thursday, July 23, 2009

A catch 22...of sorts

I want it to be cool enough so I can pull out my hair dryer and see if I can turn my new short on the sides, long on the top haircut into a pompadour. I kind of want to blow it out on top and see if I can do that oil-slick black greaser type pomp, or at the very least get a Moz-like or Japanese-style regent perm height.

The problem is, for it to get that cool right now, there needs to be rain. And rain means hazy, steamy heat until the sky finally erupts in showers and then maybe you get a cool day or two afterwards. But all that moisture is going to be the death any height achievement. I guess if I could track down a strongass hairspray I can stave the effects a bit.

If all else fails, I guess I can comb and brush this out to see if I can do a Janelle Monae type afro puff pompadour.

Wednesday, July 22, 2009

It threw me for a "Crazy Loop," eh? EH?

I was doing my usual Youtube thing. Replaying some videos for songs I haven't heard in a while, but don't actually like enough to spend money on when I was listening to "Crazy Loop (Mm Ma Ma)". And before you say anything, it's actually a really catchy tune, ok =(? I am not above listening to some Eurodance, I grew up in Korea for crying out loud. To give a little bit of context here, Crazy Loop was this sort of Damita Jo/Sasha Fierce-esque alter ego for Dan Balan. You better know him as one of the dudes from O-zone. Yea, the group that sang that Numa Numa song (by the way, check out the Crazy Loop remix of Balan's "Sugar Tunes," a remake of "Dragostea din tei"). You're probably wondering how I even know of this song or why do I even like it, look, you're talking to someone who has androgynous/cross-dressing Bulgarian pop sensation Azis queued up in their Youtube favorites list. Anyhow, I was watching the video for "Crazy Loop" when I spotted a familiar face. OMG THAT'S TAMMIE BROWN FROM RUPAUL'S DRAG RACE!! Aw, everyone thought Tammie was so weird and such, but that was her charm! She was doing that whole loopy Hollywood starlet thing with her Faye Dunaway as Joan Crawford lips. Ooh, yes, Tammie was totally equal parts Joan Crawford and Bette Davis circa "What Ever Happened to Baby Jane."

There's Tammie Brown at 2:55 and 3:19 in the video. No embedding allowed, so you'll actually have to click through here.

Saturday, July 18, 2009

Reflection on laundry day

Sitting on a plastic chair in front of the laundromat, I contemplated my current state. Headscarf tied around my head to keep my do fresh, check. That wasn't too bad, I kind of looked like Morris Day and his crew at the beginning of Purple Rain, so, you know, could've been a lot worse. But I remembered that I was also wearing a baggy Barsol Pisco promo tshirt, ill-fitting Scarface pajama pants (a picture of Scarface all up and down the pants with blinged out font saying "Scarface" and "Hu$tla" all over it. Fuck, yea). And old man slippers. I love old man slippers. All while reading a GQ. It looks like instead of blossoming into a woman, I'm slowly turning into that weird swinging bachelor uncle of yours who always smells of whiskey and Kools and sometimes randomly shows up at family functions with a new lady friend.

Thursday, July 16, 2009

Fashion of the Future

I used to find it hilarious when I'd watch films like Escape from New York, Demolition Man, or Johnny Mnemonic or any other films depicting the future and you'd see all the crazy clothes...and it just never seemed "futuristic" to me. I don't know, it all seemed so grounded in the fashions of now. It was more like they took all the worst elements of 80s and 90s fashion and decided that the future would love these terrible abortions of a fashion idea, and then some how add more dayglo and neon and awkward cuts of fabric, and there ya go.

However, nowadays, as I flip through the newest Urban Outfitters catalog (I have no fucking idea how they keep finding me. I put myself on that no catalogs list, and somehow I'm getting their catalog again 3 months later), or just walking down the streets of New York, period, I begin to think that maybe I was the stupid one for laughing. I see Wesley Snipes and his ridiculous ass platinum blond hair and his campy looking get up and I swear I might've seen someone in that getup, unironically, in some photo from Last Night's Party. Take any leather and chains future gang members, and you got a party in Bushwick right there.

On another note, I've lately been really into reading about colors. I'll randomly do some Wikipedia reading, but colors are proving to be fun. I also read this site too, that's all about colors through history. They have their own weird history and reasons for having names and whatnot, and I don't know, it's just interesting. Or you find out that a certain color no longer exists because color can go FUCKING EXTINCT because they ran out of a mineral or a source for that color a long time ago. I think that's just crazy. I mean, the fact that are colors that can no longer be recreated? Well, I guess they can somehow create a facsimile, but what about colors that stopped existing long ago where you might be able to see it in an old painting or something like that, but you can't be sure that's the exact color you're looking at that some other person from 200 years ago was looking at? Am I weird for thinking that's just really neat? Anyway, my latest fascination is with Paris Green. For one thing, it's poisonous. Also, it's not used in paints anymore because it's poisonous, but the fact that you can no longer get that same vibrant Emerald Green without it tickles that special part in my brain.

The more I think about it, I wonder if it's because little tidbits like these take me back to when I was younger, and I still believed something like magical realism was pretty damn plausible in the world. I mean just read the section on toxicity for Scheele's Green.

Sunday, July 05, 2009

Just talkin' tacos, man

"Don't get me wrong, I loooove Taco Bell, but sometimes...you want that real shit. Like where the tortilla is a corn tortilla...BUT NOT CRISPY. It's an oxymoron of food textures, all floppy and fall apart soft, yet grainy like a motherfucker."

Friday, July 03, 2009

The Hair, she is gone

That's right. I got a haircut today, and it's now short. I look like a handsome boy. Actually, I look even more like brother. That's kind of weird...though honestly I'd been mistaken for a handsome boy before when I was just a baby. Thank God I have boobs...

Anyhow after consulting my spiritual hair inspirators Rihanna, Janelle Monae and 80s Prince, I got a whole bunch of my raven curls lopped off. Damn, you know what else I just remembered that I look like? I look like a chubby, tan, brunette Robyn...which means I don't look much like Robyn at all, but you know what I mean. Though the humidity on the walk home has turned me into Domyouji Tsukasa from Boys Over Flowers, HA.

I took a quick photo back home and so far the Facebook audience has been approving.

I got my hair cut at Whistle today (first time there) and Tom, my hair dude for today was so excited when I told him I wanted to cut my kudzu growth like mess of curly hair. He almost squee-ed as he said, "Omg, this is going to be so much fun! I'm excited!!"

I was excited that he was excited. We were going on this crazy awesome journey together!

This is going to take some getting used to though. Like, I'm feeling phantom hair pains. Like I feel like I feel hair back there, but when I reach up to touch there's nooooothing. SPOOOOOKY.

Wednesday, July 01, 2009

A blog entry about pubes, but this'll totally blow your mind, Western beauty standards

So I'm watching the local Korean TV affiliate I get on cable only to see an ad that puzzles me. I'd watched enough Korean cable that this company was familiar to me as makers of this thing you put on your eyelashes to make it grow thicker longer, but...the ad was different.

They showed some generic Venus statue replica, as a voiceover intones, "Want a confident Y-line?"

And I'm all "Y-line?"

You gotta understand, in Korean parlance, a shapely body's referred to having an S-line. Or if you're joking around with a beer-bellied friend you might refer to their "O-line." But this Y-line shit was new to me.

As I was mulling this over in the split-second it registerd in my brain, I saw several triangular bushes, and my eyes widened as I realized what this "Y-line" was. Now the triangular bushes isn't all that original in the whole pube grooming ad department. So my first thought was, "Huh...I guess it's a depilatory cream for the bikini line. Though that sounds like a pretty bad idea."

But THEN the ad goes, "for a more lush and..."

"LUSH??" I almost lost it because I realized this cream was for encouraging lady bush growth. Seriously, how unexpected is that? When everyone's busy advertising ways to mow down and salt the earth here's a cream for making the carpet nice and fluffy?